GROUNDED! I am.

Hope is like magic to me. In a magic mirror, I see a side of me that’s happy, electrified with new prospects of fun, giddy to grind with lust on my mind.

BUT

Magic isn’t real. It’s a con. When my brain gets too excited, it girgles naughty thoughts, and it tricks me into creating a story I want to hear, a fairy tale.

About my days, I go slow, eyes looking up, thinking in pictures of…

what if I found a connection with a passionate friend, who tickles my fancy, OH yes, a muse for my fantasies…

Every look, every touch elevates your love…that’s how I wish you’d feel about me, addicted like I’m your very favorite thing.

Melancholy madness, knowing my truth. No magic can make me hope something will change. I’m doomed to accept my lustless fate, so I guess I’ll just go back to sleep.

YET

I tell you true, this is happening right now!!!

A yellow finch just now called my attention from my red pen bleeding onto my notebook paper.

Wheels turning I had to ponder, What is this bird saying?

He just keeps singing louder and louder, then I spot him high on a flexible limb, a cloud white floating as his backdrop:

“STOP! LOOK UP!”

He sang so lovely, not at all like the other birds, a voice and rhythm all his own.

Then, a sparrow chimes, “Just live…and be…love life…reality!”

As if stung by the sun, my eyes close, the pain in my neck feels like a knife in the muscle just turned, so a frown pulling my chin down, I wheel back into the cold darkness of the garage and close the door with a wrist-flip, twisting the deadbolt locked.

Enveloped by darkness, I see the remnants of that circle of light and I blink a quick-

CLICK!

Like a photograph, within my mind, I snap-shot this moment in real time where the moon eclipses the sun making me feel warm, less alone.

I hope you never doubt your worth! I long to show you how much I need you in my life, or I swear I wouldn’t have been able to hang in this long.

Love songs I don’t usually cling to, but this one keeps making me cry, and I couldn’t figure out why??? Then it came  to that by my age, it’s  damn near impossible to change, although every day I yearn to feel desired by someone in the same powerful way I desire him, a love where between us no resentment sits as an elephant stomping my fires and fun…

I don’t know,  ya know what I mean? You tell me…

What a lucky lady! Any man who would even dedicate this song to me would be the man of my dreams,  lol;)