Hopelessly Inappropriate Thoughts

h.i. creativity

anxiety

  • Spring UP, Purge OUT

    It’s that time of the year where my insides shimmy and shake to escape the only four walls I ever see, to hop ‘n’ romp like a wild bunny! I spring UP and muscle my wheels to move, then at the door I handle, I freeze. Who will go with me? Nearly a decade ago,… Read more

  • overwhelmed

    Find the darkest space in your house, and that’s where I’d find solace. Hidden in a corner under a blanket reading, my mom would ask, “Are you a vampire? Get in the light or you’ll ruin your eyesight.” I knew she’d be right, but I couldn’t stop looking for a dark place to escape, to… Read more

  • Punchline

    I didn’t want to. I tried not to. But, I did again, ruined a relationship. I gave it my all. Then, I hit a wall. TYPICAL, I just couldn’t call. My brain denies movement, paralysis Fears too much… I give up. To You: I’m back in music league, and this came up on a round… Read more

  • Steam Whiffs

    A nips out chill induces a clenched spasm forearms to breasts, slightly wet, as my fingers pay homage in tiny taps upon my mug, and I inhale the steam whiffs, succumbing impulsively, going back to the time my smile finally felt GENUINE. Read more

  • Truth Bites

    A rag doll god fingers at night, he pricks me until I see the light: I will never be all right. Yes, the truth bites. But, I bite back with all my might! Read more

  • as I hit ground

    Blinds block out what I can’t presently handle (my world small, PTSD producing morning shadows of past things DONE, dancing distructively on my walls). SOOOO, daily I shout other people’s lyrics to not freak out, distract myself from a lack of stimulation my brain and body CRAVE, nay…NEED! Pushing wheels round 20 years, one band,… Read more

  • That ‘P’ Word

    It’s that ‘P‘ word that eludes me lately. I search each day for that ‘P‘ in my memory, dressed as the lovely lit up ghost of a childhood friend, who began teasing me when I was ten, always up to have some fun, and Oh, how hot I got when that ‘P‘ came around! It’s… Read more

  • Re-creation

    I try to recreate the moment when time stopped. The action just after fizzles on the tip of my tongue, an embarrassment I’ve failed to overcome. Therefore, I’m compelled to close my eyes in bed to fully concentrate, maybe try again… Impulsively, I yell out his name, the door closing fast in my face, but I… Read more

  • In the End

    Every ending is a disguised beginning. Might be trite, yet where would I be without the truism? Transcendence is the meaning of life, thereby giving purpose to my strife, right? But, it sucks in the dark, feeling stuck, searching for a life-line thrown from above to pull me out of the grave my brain has… Read more

  • Distraction

    Oh, what a lovely distraction, What a moment of reflection! Stimulation, good vibrations; Movement towards motivation. I dance upon my consternation! I’ll reach for the constellations, Burning time with bright stars Loving the ride will get me far. Read more