Sleepless rolls me a brain tossed, rocking my body side-to-side til light. Rain pain follows my tail to steamy, a power-shower head to bust my balls…Blurry emotions wave flags of clarity, singing my SELF to march into a new day:
I find my search for a brand new way.
I take my dreams to a new height!
Inspiration is my reward for my fight!!!
Luminosity, it’s present, a presence; Security, it’s safety, a support beam, you are to me.
Adorned, I adore.
(I’ve missed talking to you. The daily darkness delivered the event the that will change everything in my life, and ever since, I wonder how I will find light watching someone battle death?
I see fortune in my distraction into you as my propensity, with my utterly inappropriate attraction to your luminosity.
If only I could write your story, a book about inspiration in a world filled with depression.
Every sunset I ponder your creative process, wishing upon the stars behind the clouds that I could take the magic school bus into your brain…
I wish to watch the flash-dance of lightning ideas, the brightening neurotransmitters, actively changing the future with the motivation of growth.
If you knew how much it would mean to embrace you, my dream…OH! Such a dangerous thing!
I sware you wouldn’t be able to help but fall in love with me;)
It’s missing. The piece. It’s forlorn. Twists of sweet. I ache. Chest pained. Why does hearing, seeing explode fire in my veins?
A nightmare woke me at midnight last night, not at all kidding. I usually wake up all night, every night, but terrifying nightmares are rare and vivid, and stay active after I’m awake. This one felt more intense than it was scary:
Like a placid abyss, sable liquid meeting gray light, but with no sky, while I bob like a buoy, no waves, no one in sight, just knowing something is beneath the surface waiting to pull me under.
I woke up shaking, breathless…so I employed a lullaby to sing me to a calm state of mind.
I wish I didn’t have such a big heart, but I guess then, what would I write about?
If my brain gains massive energy from his beautiful soul, why should I make it let go???
Right?
Am I addicted or in love? All I want is a bite tonight.
There’s a look.
If I were weird, I’d screenshot them all, lighten up my dark even more.
There’s a spark.
In your eye, a reflection of knowing, as if omniscient, a glint in your grin that says, “I know what’s coming, don’t you worry.”
What I’d say…
If I Could…
Do you have a happy place you can close your eyes and go to after a long day, into a longer night?
I’m sure you do.
But, my wish upon a shooting star is you use me like a stress ball if your night is hard.
Imagine my hands on you while I’m snug in your arms.
Like a shooting star, you grant wishes by being who you are. I struggle to believe in a far-off future in which my fingers could play your keys, but you make it possible for me to experience the delectable taste of a magical dream.
What you just released, touches me…
Each time
arrests my heart
for a moment
as I catch my breath,
leaving me
glow-smiling,
belly bubbles bursting,
urging love-chuckles
to jiggle the soul
out from feeling old.
As is my wont, when I can’t sing what I really want to convey, I use someone else’s voice to carry my ideas away:
(I adore this version;)
Can a tongue need?
A slip of my tongue this way, a suck-slide that way, then the lip bite teeth-rest that I get as I picture your head, your lips blowing music through a tube, your tongue shaking with your sexy hoooowl to the moon! I sware my tongue needs to collide with you.
I’ve imagined us. I examine your lips move silent at night beneath my covers, breath hot, my eyes shining at you, and sometimes, if I stay to long, if to hear your voice, I turn the sound up over snoring, I find my tongue licking salty drops from off my thick lips, needing to touch your lips 💋
I get scared at night. I search for a light. Oh so trite!!! The kicker is that when the light is too bright, so beautiful my smile hurts and my eyes shine until I cry…
Oh, my disconnect!
I do it when times are rough.
I disconnect, disappear.
I tell myself, Sleep!
Sleep will bring peace,
feeding you dreams.
Oh, my disconnect!
It’s done me wrong again.
Inner SELF its own hell,
I toss and turn in bed!
Lyrics and visions dance:
I hold tight a warm hand,
twirling a Tango of light,
rolling round a carousel
(creativity battling for time)
a kind of circus in my mind.
My brain, never quiet,
just keeps talking circles!
In reality, sleep deprived,
I’m dizzy as I ride.
The thought of loss—
Oh, my disconnect, No.
Not this time. Momentary,
my lapse of reason
made me hide and suck.
I burn, I yearn to touch.
I long to finally talk.
My wants, too much?
Don’t wanna lose you, love.
(I didn’t think I could adore you more, but you did it. I can’t imagine anyone nailing a night in my head better than you did with this song…a pleasure of perfection. Your love for words, your spirit, the way you’re engaging and wise are all reasons why you are such a great performer, that’s for sure ❤️)
Appropriate words were tough here. I wish I didn’t feel like the spider in this picture
As if set to chant-speed, the visions of you beat in my brain:
Steady flashes of your smile beat with each breath, a pounding heart beneath my breast applauding the splendor that radiates through me when I see you, whether you look at me through a screen, behind a mirrored mask, or bathed in dreamy-blue, I always adore you, as if our love were true, a reality I can hold…
someday…
and off I go!
A dream away through my days.
As the season falls, warmth in my world is as elusive as a hummingbird’s wings. I’m tiny, so my bones shiver in the Indiana damp-cold. I fear winter, like death, knowing it’s just the next step. I tend to hibernate in my cave, alone in my mind, waiting desperate for spring, when the sun brings a blaze of shine and I can feel its warmth! Then, my heart can again embrace the possibilities in the next new day.
Despite the darkness of the shadows creeping me out within this season of doubt and world chaos, YOU are a sun who’s shine stimulates waves of warmth to flow through my whole body as you invigorate my brain to pulsate such pleasure, my heart bursts tingles in between nerves in me, and like a sparkler’s fire pops, you create bursts of a warm happiness, a burning gratitude that I get to feel you penitrate my soul.
I grew wings
upon my sighs
and soared
into the night,
riding high
as a unicorn,
hidden inside
a cacophony
of buzzy bugs,
camouflaging
my voice
whilest I flew
to lay embraced,
us –side-by-side–
your hand in mine.
(It’s very challenging to keep myself from trying to talk to you. The longer I hold out, the deeper the yearn, the harder it gets to breathe…waiting to feel you see me…oh, such a dream.
Ridiculous, right? You and me.
Good golly, I’m so fucking good at creating the ultimate romantic fantasy, in which my muse finds my love and fell for me.
Ya know though, love is as strange as the sea, full of weird possibilities;)
