Each piece,
a pioneering puzzle,
the ultimate game of intrigue,
even intimacy,
exploring how pieces fit together,
but to bare the pulchritude
buried within
the secret life of another.
What do you see
in the morning
first light of day?
What do you do to play?
Do responsibilities get in the way?
OR Do you SIEZE THE DAY!
???
I can’t stop myself
from wondering along my way.
sweet as candy,
as addictive
as lips part crack…
The layers of depth,
the hints of wandering wonder,
the offering of perspective,
a journey of enlightenment
from beginning to end,
a glittering reflection
of intuitive introspection
from my memory, here and now,
this is what you showed me:
The open road of possibility,
the hills of the adventure,
golden fields, the ocean
waving birds on the breeze,
even a pole calling me to speak
images of the beauty so often I can’t see
in my world, I can’t find in me,
you expose me to a warmth
that tints my cheeks as fuchsia
as in your colorful shirt,
with my brain’s heat
pervading by body,
affixed I watch a star dancing
bursting energy in front of me…
the open sky eyes, the wide wise smile…
a moment I treasure,
filled with joy and laughter,
unlike any my brain
could possibly conceive
made my love light
again begin to glow brightly
(after ten years of being off,
void of desire and possibility),
now light makes my heart sing.
Inspiration to find my road to passion.
You bit me in that good way, an incisor nibble at the nape of my neck.
You bit me naked, secret preclivities FLASH! EXPOSED. Vulnerable.
Now, Eat Me devoured, flesh ‘n’ bone, but swallow slow, don’t choke.
A muse dancing to the music in your soul will give you POWER forevermore.
GROUNDED! I am. Hope is like magic to me. In a hopeful magic-mirror, I see a side of me that’s happy, electrified with new prospects of fun, giddy to grind with lust on my mind.
BUT Magic isn’t real. It’s a con.
When my brain gets too excited, it girgles naughty thoughts, and it tricks me into creating a story I want to hear, a fairy tale.
About my days, I go slow, eyes looking up, thinking in pictures of…
what if I found a connection
with a passionate friend, who tickles my fancy, OH yes, a muse for my fantasies…
Every look, every touch elevates your love…that’s how I wish you’d feel about me, addicted like I’m your very favorite thing.
Melancholy madness, knowing my truth. No magic can make me hope something will change. I’m doomed to accept my lustless fate, so I guess I’ll just go back to sleep.
YET
(I tell you true, this is happening right now!!!)
A yellow finch just now called my attention from my red pen bleeding onto my notebook paper.
Wheels turning I had to ponder, What is this bird saying?
He just keeps singing louder and louder, then I spot him high on a flexible limb, a cloud white floating as his backdrop:
“STOP! LOOK UP!”
He sang so lovely, not at all like the other birds, a voice and rhythm all his own.
Then, a sparrow chimes, “Just live…and be…love life…reality!”
As if stung by the sun, my eyes close, the pain in my neck feels like a knife in the muscle just turned, so a frown pulling my chin down, I wheel back into the cold darkness of the garage and close the door with a wrist-flip, twisting the deadbolt locked.
Enveloped by darkness, I see the remnants of that circle of light and I blink a quick-
CLICK!
Like a photograph, within my mind, I snap-shot this moment in real time where the moon eclipses the sun making me feel warm, less alone.
(I hope you never doubt your worth! I long to show you how much I need you in my life, or I swear I wouldn’t have been able to hang in this long:)
Your words
that voice
warmed
frigid fingers
to flicker light
in the dark
alone
to write:
Your face
that smile
pops up
head pulsing
stimulation
tickle-pricking
pure pleasure
to shout out
a showering
EXALTATION!
For a moment,
I FEEL POWER!
Hopelessly Inappropriate Thoughts 