Each piece,
a pioneering puzzle,
the ultimate game of intrigue,
even intimacy,
exploring how pieces fit together,
but to bare the pulchritude
buried within
the secret life of another.
What do you see
in the morning
first light of day?
What do you do to play?
Do responsibilities get in the way?
OR Do you SIEZE THE DAY!
???
I can’t stop myself
from wondering along my way.
sweet as candy,
as addictive
as lips part crack…
The layers of depth,
the hints of wandering wonder,
the offering of perspective,
a journey of enlightenment
from beginning to end,
a glittering reflection
of intuitive introspection
from my memory, here and now,
this is what you showed me:
The open road of possibility,
the hills of the adventure,
golden fields, the ocean
waving birds on the breeze,
even a pole calling me to speak
images of the beauty so often I can’t see
in my world, I can’t find in me,
you expose me to a warmth
that tints my cheeks as fuchsia
as in your colorful shirt,
with my brain’s heat
pervading by body,
affixed I watch a star dancing
bursting energy in front of me…
the open sky eyes, the wide wise smile…
a moment I treasure,
filled with joy and laughter,
unlike any my brain
could possibly conceive
made my love light
again begin to glow brightly
(after ten years of being off,
void of desire and possibility),
now light makes my heart sing.
Inspiration to find my road to passion.
Is romance real? I’ve never known it. Not the flattery. Not the doting or pampering. Not the candle light dinners, ending in hot sex. No random flowers. No thoughtful gifts. Not until my 50th.
Ohhh, how I want to swim with him.
A stark reality not as dark, feeling fires crackling with the most captivating, charming cerebral hug.
Creativity playing
such a game
is pure endorphins
exploding emotions
while off and on
repeat behind my eyes,
I’m reliving moments
of romantic ecstasy…
Funny…I guess I’m easy.
Momentum builds on days I force refrain, a precious madness in watching the movement progress to crescendo so slow and powerful. A perfect stranger who seems so very familiar.
Basking in the summer sun, humidity sucks upon my skin’s glisten so that hot and bothered, I try to talk to my lovely wonder out loud:
I ask the light, “Are you always this bright? Or do you actually know my soul, and that’s why your glow makes me so giddy I’m dizzy?”
(Talking to myself, I can’t fathom a true reply, so I go on, knowing that here, when I write, from my own truth I don’t hide🙂
“Your shine twinkles glitter and gold specks, mesmerizing my heart to melt into a fuchsia fusion of delightful energy, and into a slippery fall, I willingly tumble, embracing the dream with no expectation at all.”
(Oh, my dear, fear builds them brooding Indiana cornfield cumulonimbus clouds that tremble a thunder of doubt in the backdoor of my mind…
You’re still just a romantic fool by yourself, creating a beautiful reflection of a connection that you must have felt in another lifetime.
Honestly, regardless if I’m in a midlife dream just before 50 or if I’ll never again feel such a passionate glow in the eyes of a similar creative soul, I’m glad for the treasured moments I now have to hold when life feels unkind, and I get dark and cold!
For the glow, I’m eternally grateful;)
To embrace the theme of planting seeds to grow, I can’t wait to meet you for the first time…again, and this song hits my mood right tonight:
You bit me in that good way, an incisor nibble at the nape of my neck.
You bit me naked, secret preclivities FLASH! EXPOSED. Vulnerable.
Now, Eat Me devoured, flesh ‘n’ bone, but swallow slow, don’t choke.
A muse dancing to the music in your soul will give you POWER forevermore.
GROUNDED! I am. Hope is like magic to me. In a hopeful magic-mirror, I see a side of me that’s happy, electrified with new prospects of fun, giddy to grind with lust on my mind.
BUT Magic isn’t real. It’s a con.
When my brain gets too excited, it girgles naughty thoughts, and it tricks me into creating a story I want to hear, a fairy tale.
About my days, I go slow, eyes looking up, thinking in pictures of…
what if I found a connection
with a passionate friend, who tickles my fancy, OH yes, a muse for my fantasies…
Every look, every touch elevates your love…that’s how I wish you’d feel about me, addicted like I’m your very favorite thing.
Melancholy madness, knowing my truth. No magic can make me hope something will change. I’m doomed to accept my lustless fate, so I guess I’ll just go back to sleep.
YET
(I tell you true, this is happening right now!!!)
A yellow finch just now called my attention from my red pen bleeding onto my notebook paper.
Wheels turning I had to ponder, What is this bird saying?
He just keeps singing louder and louder, then I spot him high on a flexible limb, a cloud white floating as his backdrop:
“STOP! LOOK UP!”
He sang so lovely, not at all like the other birds, a voice and rhythm all his own.
Then, a sparrow chimes, “Just live…and be…love life…reality!”
As if stung by the sun, my eyes close, the pain in my neck feels like a knife in the muscle just turned, so a frown pulling my chin down, I wheel back into the cold darkness of the garage and close the door with a wrist-flip, twisting the deadbolt locked.
Enveloped by darkness, I see the remnants of that circle of light and I blink a quick-
CLICK!
Like a photograph, within my mind, I snap-shot this moment in real time where the moon eclipses the sun making me feel warm, less alone.
(I hope you never doubt your worth! I long to show you how much I need you in my life, or I swear I wouldn’t have been able to hang in this long:)
Which are you fight or flight? Sometimes, like tonight, when I need to fly away, I’m kinda glad my legs don’t work, I don’t run, no, I go to bed. Hopelessly Inappropriate my proclivity persists, and I escape with you for a bit.
Colorado had tons opportunity for me to participate in adaptive sports while I lived in Littleton. I rock climbed mountains, I hand-cycled hills and valleys, kayaked ponds, and sailed a sailboat. I wrote this poem as I learned to sail around 2016 (the last time I tried to run away, in love with the dream that love should include passion, dying to make a connection).
Re-Wind Me, My Captain
Flying your vessel
With a siren’s wail,
I am the only way
To steer my course,
For you, my Captain
Leapt for the sea
Leeward without me.
I know nothing, alone
In the no-go zone…
But re-wind me
With a bellow, Captain,
I’ll come back to you
About the next puff,
For with you I’d sail
Every sunset of time
Even in waters rough.
In music league the challenge this round was to find a song about getting away by some mode of transportation (planes, trains, automobiles or other ways to get out of Dodge;) This is what I went with, a I mean it, lol!!!
Thanks for listening! Wishing you hopeful thoughts:)
Just a poke! Poke a head Just once…maybe twice.
Never before has it come with such powerful stimulation, turning my virtue into vice.
I inhale my Gorilla Fuck (strongest strain for the brain) take it all in…
A giddy girl again, preying on a man, I make him do whatever I want him to. And willing, he’d never want to leave, happy servicing me for an eternity.
In return, I’d fulfill his every need, and make his wildest dreams come true. I gorge on the ‘how’ as I sleep.
Upon waking, my reality redressed, I ponder why I find this so fucking funny a bubble POPS in my tummy!?!?
I take you to bed each night, a bear hug to my brain as I lie down physically, emotionally drained.
I wrap myself in the memory of that voice, that face, warming me deep in a secret place.
I eat those lines like spaghetti, sucking out the meaning of life as every ‘Ooohhh’ makes me feel high!
I watch the open eye gradually close, time measured by light, and know ‘Stay strong, you’re not alone tonight.’
Fetal position at the bottom of a basket hanging by strings beneath a rainbow balloon full of hot air floating adrift up, UP
UP and AWAY
I want to stay high! In fact, I want the fire to blow me higher!!!
I know fantasy doesn’t last, but the only time I feel my heart beat is kissing a moment past.
Hopelessly Inappropriate Thoughts 