I’ve been hiding. No one noticed. I went to bed way too early, no TV, no music, no beautiful video to lull me to a good night’s sleep. Two days, only me, watching in my head, an emptiness, a hole growing like “The NOTHING” with me needing belief in the creative, golden light to make everything alright.

Now, I’m scared to touch that fire in me again would be dangerous…

I don’t have unrealistic expectations, but unreachable dreams that obviously could never be stroked, will never be embraced, a kiss never to be placed upon the lips I see at night in my sleep.

As I lie in bed, waiting for nothing to happen, I pretend he’s facing me, and I can study his eyes, trace every inch of his face, tell him about my day:

Like he’d care a beautiful ten year old girl at the special needs camp had trouble with sudden outbursts of anger and frustration, however, I happened to hear her say, “…and the wizard told the girl…”

I said, “I love wizards! Is that what you’re drawing?”

She told a few lines of her story, then went about talking to herself again, but calmer. Only he could see how cool this moment was for me.

I broke through with the toughest kid in camp because I met a wizard who truly does do magic.

How can anyone compare to how such a simple thing can make my heart remember how to with beat warmth, even on one the coldest of summer’s nights.