Rigid patterns
Frigid heart
(Shuts out sparks,
Nothing stays)
Rainbow bright
–Out damn night–
Dreams fill days
More, I crave
Mourning up
I splat down
Long fingers
Linger latent
Extend strength
Aide my angst
Defend my fate
A wise prophet
A proffering
I inhale deep
In you seep…
You saving me
(A soul so cold
died long ago,
Back to life
Every night)
I see G Love in Kalamazoo, MI in August. (Got to meet him a 4th of July like 10 years ago, so sweet, have a blurry picture, lol). Wish you were there.
So dangerous to me…a beautiful fear. Watching you sing, so titilating. I can’t get enough, so I tried to cut myself off. I refused for a day to indulge…
No!
I tell myself, trying to be good, wondering what you’d let me do if only I could.
And that’s what gets me into trouble. I’m new to seeing someone so lovely, so close that I get confused, hot emotions wild, imagining you’re singing to me “under the covers” when my mouth meets yours, and that beautiful fear disappears as I inhale you while you’re near.
I have decided to begin challenging my anxiety, push my triggers and explore how to see and do more…
Today, I did it.
I’m practicing leaving my house by myself. I must conquer my fears and vanquish the lack of confidence that have kept me trapped…
Idependence achieved! I went with a girlfriend to Michigan for the first time (with no family) in seven years. Baby steps, but it’s a start.
A goal: To find you, love, some day, some how.
You make up my bucket list truth be told.
When I’m grounded, an adult unable to control my world, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you. Funny, I pretend you’re seeing me, when really I have no idea.
My heart has already jumped on your ride, and you’re so powerful, you blow my mind!
In fact, like butterscotch pudding thick and sweet tongue-scooped to fill my mouth, eyes closed…the swallow…pleasure seeping into my body, that’s what you did to me today.
Oh…My!
Everyone asleep, I crave another peek, so off to the garage I sneak for another moment between you and me.
I wish I could give you even a sliver of the overwhelming pleasure, gratitude I feel when I see you. You cradle me when I want to crawl out of my skin, when I want to disappear, you help me find calm. I may just be talking to myself, but while I take you in, for a moment, I’m free, I’m wanted, I’ve got you to hold. A moment does my blues a wave of good, and I get to repeat that feeling while I sleep, finally able to touch you again.
Oh my, what a silly woman am I!
Even the oddest
flowers can flourish.
No sowing.
At first, just a seed
blowing when it falls
into a driveway crack,
and dormant instinct
roots foundation through
the black tar and gravel
until the magic of a spring
environment rains
light-food and nutrient-water
to seep deep then
an unlikely flower pushes
with burgeoning strength
through paved black-top.
Resiliency from infancy.
That’s me.
Deep in the gut, a giggle floats up, sweetening a sour tummy to jiggle like jello covered in honey!
As you dance, a boy with a balloon, exuding passion through your spirit so real, so true, you are a perfect picture of youth loving life.
I’m so, so, so, SOOOO happy for you!
Each day the birds sing a tale anew, the greatest treasure of a poet is a muse. Mine is you.
A ladybug, invisible,
held in the sticky
yellow center of a bud,
blindly reaching
for the nourishment
of the firey sun,
rooted on the bank
of a riverbend,
a journey neverending,
with a wizard watching
ashore mesmerizing
waves swirling
with his staff playing,
inspiring the circle
light to bursting
color into the world,
a hot hug of love.
Hopelessly Inappropriate Thoughts 