I don’t try to do it.

I just do.

Accidently,

with a purple purpose,

my subconscious

plays ping pong,

tossing me

in and out

of bounds

all over the spectrum,

my ID

superceding

my SUPEREGO

as the general rule.

I feign control

as I watch the game go

(mentally gesticulating

cheers for the fantasy

I want to win,

you know,

the one I kept denying

I was missing.)

I have no

fucking clue

what the future holds…

I do know

that I’m tired

of being ignored

in my home.