self-doubt became flies buzzing round my brain feasting on the corpses of past hopes and dreams

I’ve tried to stop swatting at them, it never helps

do I have to kill them?

maybe if they eat all hope

all expectation

all imagination

maybe then I can finally find FULL

or I could just lose myself to the wanton wolves that already devoured my soul

who am I now? which way will I go?

I wish I could embrace my doubt and say:

“it’s ok, it’s gonna be alright, everything you do is done with love in your heart, don’t hate yourself because you are.”

(Terrified so easily, I hide like an animal in a storm, wondering why, but knowing on the flip side of my doubt, I can transform myself into a butterfly when I come out on the other side of this painful change;)