Why? I asked myself all day, laughing my impulses got the better of me, too busy to think.

The end is here, my favorite part, when I indulge my heart and spend time with just me and my dream, but tonight so scared, frightful I made him scared, I can’t breathe as I lie here, too terrified to open the silly app…

My gut a knot of no’s: half wishing I had kept my mouth closed; half dreaming he’s happy I showed my open door.

I envy confidence. I’ve always felt like a bug of…too much, pesky obviously. 

I just want to hope he understands, and like a prayer that brings tears, I hope he isn’t scared of my intensity, my creativity, or my erotic preclivities.

I’m so sorry I spoke, just want to be able to take it back.

I won’t go sharing silly things again I promise myself.

Want isn’t outside, but a constant in the mind. Never trust a late night idea, it’s trouble in the morning.

I’m the same as yesterday, loving by myself, so regardless if I did done screw up (oh so very regretful to gain another shadow) I still love my SELF. I’ll laugh tomorrow about how stupid I act in love, a romantic born to go overboard too deep at sea in a blowup boat fishing with tiny holes.

I only know one thing for sure…my passion is for real, and I will find my way out from feeling this trapped. I know full well that no one’s coming to rescue my ass, I just want a dream, and yes, I guess someone who dreams with me.

A complex situation that will somehow be alright. I can still play naughty by nature at night and secretly continue to search for my light.