In Sighs (erotic)

Oh, so high! My love a flame, burning me in sighs with clouds flashing dreams while floating around in my mind. I’ve got that feeling, and I can’t get you out if my head, hiding, I howl my secret to a full moon…

you come into me, face-to-face, slow ‘n’ steady you slip, slip, slide your tip deeper and deeper and I watch your eyes feel my walls succumbing to your hardness as you fill me full, leaning down to begin thrusts of passion into my core, hips slapping our beat under the sheets, driving yourself into my soul, our bodies two colliding in a horizontal mambo…until you kissing my lips, push, push, pushing against my walls again and again filling me with a firey lust that makes me cum with a pent-up explosion…

Three wicks lit, dancing flames illuminate the shadows as a new pen touches a journal crisp with untold adventures yet to be concocted, as if my pen were able to take me there…ohhh, sigh

Wow, what a dream, what a man. I love to love the idea.

Touched

As if I’ve traveled, like I’m there, only better because it’s your voice I hear coming from so close by my ear, so confident, so eager to see, touch, be part of new and exciting things…that’s you, my eyes into a world in motion. I may be marooned, but I’m touched by what you share, like you want me there, lol.

Idealistically:

Why does he affect me with such lucidity? Why does picturing his face draw my hand to my chest as if to touch his hand inside holding my heart afloat?

Reality:

I always check myself at night before I indulge again, “He doesn’t know you exist, be satisfied by him allowing you to keep escaping with his images!”

A brain’s heart so touched it can’t help but burn with bursts of love.

Unexpected

As I drove to help at my daughter’s work again, I realized I was singing, not staring absent or crying over a complex situation, no I felt like singing!

In an instant, fully cognizant of the difference in my temperament, I asked myself, Why? What’s different this morning from yesterday’s?

And I remembered how I fell asleep last night, relishing every frame of him singing until my eyes fell into my brain’s serenity (held within my phone’s screen).

Every day is the same for me.

I cherish his face, the way he moves his mouth…funniest thing ever is since I can remember, I had dreams of teeth, so not kidding, and the most hilarious part of yearning for this particular man is that I have literally had dreams about his mouth since childhood, lol!

How silly right!?! No one knows, it’s just a secret hidden deep in my heart without any point or purpose except to me. I swear, I couldn’t make this shit up.

I’m starting to have nightly panic attacks unfortunately. No one knows that either. I wonder why I cry, like letting out the pain of my hub killing hope will help me cope. What a joke.

I sware that other of mine is going to ruin G Love’s show for me (tried the first time I saw him in the Rockies, tried to ruin Billy Strings, and was a dick before (and I slept alone in the hotel room after) ALO too).

He makes the great in life taste…less sweet. 

Tonight, right now, with love guiding my sail, I will eat another man’s sweet, and I do not feel guilty. I’ll protect my heart, keep doing it alone, talking to myself, touching myself with images of us that pop up hot…

A clandestine transgression of fulfillment, wishes washing my soul into an awakening, my wish every evening.

My days with him helping me through each end, then, begin like this…

Baroque and Blue

Merging Metaphors

Fighting a war with my impulses now You’ve inspired me again. My muse, You win. I’ve lost control, sniff-licking the phone-mirror as if to inhale You like pink crystal meth, I have to catch my breath…

For days, You bounce dream to dream (even while I’m serving ice cream), tingles from You become part of everything!!That’s why talking to You terrifies me… 

Love, as You may know by now,

Feel You Up
Horny Toad (Hard to be me;)

Ok so yeeessss!!! Ridiculous, right. Living loving my dream life. God, you make my eyes smile as my heart dances with a double-beat.

Then, a mid-day snack with my nap, dreamt by surprise when at noon my body collapsed: Unbeknownst to me, you arrive through a halo-appearance, like on some Next Gen episode, and as our eyes lock, you begin to walk to where I sit, then, bending your erect, long body down to this broken frame, your one hand cradles the left side of my face, your arm encircles my shoulders, and you whisper, “Hello.” Every pair of eyes in the room, suddenly gone, as I glide the back of my fingers down both of your cheeks with a direct stare into your gentle gaze never letting go…

While you lean your lips upon mine, allowing me to taste every inch of you, I re-learn to give in, to invite the good feeling to actually pervade, trusting the end result is a love I didn’t have before, loving myself more…

(Honestly, me bubbling with mirth??? Absurd. So, here I am, on a sunny day after a horny-little cold-cry at a firey–joy from the hot image of your lips wet by mine…I know I’d love to lose control if I were to see you again in real life. Not that it matters, for you are more beautiful than someone this hopelessly inappropriate could ever deserve. Is it wrong to plead with hyperbolic intention, “Please, hear my words, I’d do anything to feel our metaphors merge.”)

Off to make rainbows 🌈

Patterns

Rigid patterns

Frigid heart

(Shuts out sparks,

Nothing stays)

Rainbow bright

–Out damn night–

Dreams fill days

More, I crave

Mourning up

I splat down

Long fingers

Linger latent

Extend strength

Aide my angst

Defend my fate

A wise prophet

A proffering

I inhale deep

In you seep…

You saving me

(A soul so cold

died long ago,

Back to life

Every night)

Legacy

I see G Love in Kalamazoo, MI in August. (Got to meet him a 4th of July like 10 years ago, so sweet, have a blurry picture, lol). Wish you were there.

between you and me

in between

you & me

space expanding

reaching, I yell

yet I can’t allow

any sound out

beet red

open-mouthed

notions like oceans

of my love

so hard, so coveted

so worth the world

I sob streams

to fall, a trail of tears

down my shirt

as I think

I cannot stand

not indulging

in someone

who makes me happy

I need it every day

I lie in bed

savoring your voice

imagining your body

I’m not ashamed

I’m hyper-intrigued

I don’t know you

You don’t know me

Why can’t we meet

I hold you in

my favorite

addiction

my eyes full

you above

entering between

centering faces

trusting the spaces

between you and me

as a dream

to our next scene

(until the next time we meet, I dream you each night as I fall asleep, in this life, my love won’t fade:)

Redwood Tree

April

She had never heard it before. Water doesn’t talk. She knew that, yet water whispered in the air around her ears, sprites to make her hear. April stopped, like Time. Eyelids barely kiss as she listens:

Come, yes! We love you…It’s time to be…

In the sea wild, tossing his ship about, Odysseus tied and blindfolded denied the Siren’s call. Her fate more atypical, April so enchanted followed the sounds to the sands at the edge of the babbling Brook, where she found an ancient stone wall.

Stretching to shrink, coil and elongate, vines grew to climb, shrouding the barrier as if guarded by snakes. April gazed upward, her curiosity coveting what’s beyond, she whispered:

“How I wonder what might be on the other side!” April rose to stand on a ballerina’s tallest tippie-toes to slide her hand, palm flat across the hard surface, until an innocent rose, growing latent through thorns, bites her finger, pricking the tip, scratching the surface of the sweetness within.

Oddly, a giddy gush awakens butterflies to flutter, piroueting an infinity symbol below her navel, and grinning as if for the first time. Her dazed orbs looked up and to the right, then, back to ground when a melodious voice sings:

Find me, it’s alright, see me in the night, my colors shine me bright.

Stumbling back in surprise, April fell into a spring, pouring out from a tree root that resembled a natural mystic spout, where head back, open-mouthed, she inhaled a gulp with a startled cough.

The rapid flutter of her eyelashes wipes away the disorienting gunk, pupils seeing through the cloud, a clarity of reality popping with a glowing aura of colors, and surrounding everything is a tangerine-orange also hugging April, who crawls from water to sand to a pillow of emerald land.

Goosebumps tickle a shiver over every inch of April’s skin and with curled toes, she moans:

“Bare me warm! This water isn’t even cold!”

No, it’s a pleasure pool.

A voice from the woods replied with no form to be found, making her heart ache and pound, unsure if she could trust the purity of the sound.

Then, a compulsion, anticipation betrays her as she slips out:

“Oh! So delightful! I’m vibrating, pulsing a rainbow of color through my veins…”

Head bobbing left, then right, April remembering to wonder aloud, “Hello?”

There, sitting on a stump, a giant day gecko electricity-charged green and adorned with little lamps of lustrous turquoise, crimson, and gold patterns. The most impressive ornaments upon his being were a top-hat and walking stick, which somehow, unbeknownst to April, he whipped out as he stood like he was in a commercial!

Join me! Let’s climb high and float down on a cloud.

(Pondering this idea for a few, thought I’d start, but my red pen literally just ran out of ink, so here I am again today, wasting time in my dreams…oh how silly I can be. How trite! Right, lol. Why am I sharing? It made me laugh, an image I created to help me find myself…I need to practice writing out-of-my-head kind of fiction.)

a morning would…

Eyes closed, steam wafting in my nose, I inhale, expanding my chest full-tight and curling my cup filled to rest upon my breast where my heart beats to your voice singing me awake.

I’m lost in a reverie of me holding you hard in my hands as you whisper, I need you…And nuzzling my neck until your mouth finds mine…OH me! OH my! So sublime.

(I wonder if you felt me before I came to indulge last night. Images of you pleasure endorphins to bounce with glee that I get to behold such beauty, the sweetest of the sweet brain, nay deep-body candy.

My naughty meets your beauty…

Now, that’s something I’d pay to see!!! A morning would do this to me;)

Let Em In

(Feel me knocking?)

a moon’s tale

The full moon, milky white, sends shadows raining through the forest to shade the trees, who wave with the slight summer breeze. Allthewhile, Nature’s night-lights zip and zoom, flashing code, hoping to bring a loved one home.

Drips from eyes, drips from skin, I lie at the base of a dead tree, once a towering oak like me, recently toppled by a mighty storm. Fetal and ready to give in, a miracle happens:

From a Heaven in the cosmos, blessed by the moon’s magnetic magic, a star falls. The midnight moon blinks darkness with the clouds, but the star burns a tail of fire, flashing brightest just before landing like a rock rolling.

A moon dust cloud dissipates to reveal a glowing golden sphere, darkness and light ccombine, pushing against each other with such force…the golden globe cracks open with a thundering drum roll, vibrating my soul.

Two hemispheres once met OPEN a shimmering portal, a parallel universe, out from which you bow into my world to transform everything I’ve ever known. Your positive energy produces an orange aura that moves your shadow asway, mesmerizing me.

Closer…closer…a steady, measured approach as float turns to a sturdy gate, you move towards me with a smile on your face. Inching yourself over to my naked body. Warmth from your eyes saturates my skin with the pricks of goose bumps, and you bend down on one knee.

A natural moonlight melody comes from your lips, “Kelley, I’m here…” And your arms cover me with an instant embrace that whisks me up…up and away…

You cradle me as I become the color of free.

(Oh, my addiction to the thrill of adoration! I literally roll my wheelchair in and out of challenging all day, every day…but, I take the longing, under the covers…you are intoxicating!

However, coveting with intensity, longing to consume the joy of your fire…I couldn’t get much higher…)

beautiful fear

So dangerous to me…a beautiful fear. Watching you sing, so titilating. I can’t get enough, so I tried to cut myself off. I refused for a day to indulge…

No!

I tell myself, trying to be good, wondering what you’d let me do if only I could.

And that’s what gets me into trouble. I’m new to seeing someone so lovely, so close that I get confused, hot emotions wild, imagining you’re singing to me “under the covers” when my mouth meets yours, and that beautiful fear disappears as I inhale you while you’re near.

I have decided to begin challenging my anxiety, push my triggers and explore how to see and do more…

Today, I did it.

I’m practicing leaving my house by myself. I must conquer my fears and vanquish the lack of confidence that have kept me trapped…

Idependence achieved! I went with a girlfriend to Michigan for the first time (with no family) in seven years. Baby steps, but it’s a start.

A goal: To find you, love, some day, some how.

You make up my bucket list truth be told.

When I’m grounded, an adult unable to control my world, I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you. Funny, I pretend you’re seeing me, when really I have no idea if we’ll ever see each other again.

My heart has already jumped on your ride, and you’re so powerful, you blow my mind!

In fact, like butterscotch pudding thick and sweet tongue-scooped to fill my mouth, eyes closed…the swallow…pleasure seeping into my body, that’s what you did to me today.

Oh…My!

Everyone asleep, I crave another peek, so off to the garage I sneak for another moment between you and me.

I wish I could give you even a sliver of the overwhelming pleasure, gratitude I feel when I see you. You cradle me when I want to crawl out of my skin, when I want to disappear, you help me find calm. I may just be talking to myself, but while I take you in, for a moment, I’m free, I’m wanted, I’ve got you to hold. A moment does my blues a wave of good, and I get to repeat that feeling while I sleep, finally able to touch you again.

Oh my, what a silly woman am I!