You Fill My Empty Cup

Awakening

with a smile,

lungs full caught

p-a-u-s-e,

I creep my arms

from a cross

over my chest

to hands clasped

like butterfly wings

at the base of my neck,

remembering

the sweetest dream:

You knowing me.

As a perfect stranger,

you hear me better

than anyone

in my daily reality.

In my world,

everything I think

is so misunderstood,

lately I didn’t know 

if I contain

anything good.

You fill my empty cup clean full up with the most marvelous tea, leaves illuminating color in everything, a dawning of beauty within me. Sobering slow, enjoying every single moment as I go in the spirit of Carpe Diem! In awe.

to play with a wizard

In the shower this morning, running late for a playdate, I listen to my daily dose of musical poetry when words I’ve never heard before ring true from my phone, and the images begin to pour upon my skull, drips of magnetic magic that transform to steam up the room, twist up my nose and tumble in my core…gems of meaning uncover themselves, bringing drops rolling from my eyes, closed with a wizard behind.

Bubbles gathered in my hair, I rinse, the dead down the drain with that wizard’s creative magic.

As dusk dawns my new day, I reflect for time three:

Oh, my Wizard, a spell more! My urges implore.

Finally alone, open door on my mind…Smoke fills the garage as I blow ‘Dante’s Inferno’ out, no longer a harpie eating the leaves of Hell’s Trees. Not me! I finally reflect the light of living!

Shadows dancing out of the smoke to past songs, until I feast on the novel burning beneath, in my heart, squeezing your image in my chest, ready again to feel your OH, so lovely magic notes!

Fireworks bursting all around me, I feel like Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and while the Wizard sleeps, I want to play with all his tools! Innocent at first I tinker, but words with me tend to get away as things I shouldn’t think or say.

Therefore, overwhelmed with adoration, everything I want to say seems wrong, too much, just like me.

I didn’t celebrate July 4th last year, politically too pissed, but this year the explosions are going off inside me and I feel like the only thing that might help is to go lie down…allow darkness and the storm’s thunder to settle…and begin to travel to a magical castle, his hand in mine, and I turn his palm up so I can kiss the center as I look in his eyes, thank him for coming into my life.

The rest of the story is yet to be told. I love watching his stories unfold!!!

steamy tonight you come

Steamy, cloudy the beginning unfolds,

as bold and erect as I can,

I walk through the open door

into the light with eyes solely focus

upon the prize on the other side…

My palm finds your cheek,

which I carress with a knuckle sweep.

Every nerve twitching, you see me,

and locked in a moment miracle,

I know I would lose control!

You would finally know for sure.

Obvious, the yearn craving loud,

I’d lean my cheek to brush yours,

ear an inch from my mouth, whisper,

“Forgive me, I can’t help myself…

a secret dream is to feel your lips

for just a moment of your time–

Indulgences utterly sublime!“

Oh muse, I watch your mouth move

not caring if there’s danger here.

Your fire gets me high and hot

and with you in me, I want to stay lost

with my core combustion churning

the love and lust within my breast,

a tasty treat of beautiful singing,

a lullaby to snuggle my mind tonight.

(If only I really could magically will my dreams turn real, lol. My truth is harder to swallow…

You know when something like a dream comes true, actually happens, and you’re on the other side, knowing likely you’ll never get such a riveting feeling again? Oh, my woe acts like an asshole! LOL;)

Oh, to kiss the lips that sing me sleep, a dreamy that’s steamy…

Oh my CRASH!

SCREEEEECH! SLAM! BAM…Bam! I knew it was coming, yet I didn’t expect an actual CRASH. I had finally willed myself to go, to be, to do, listening to pick-me-up songs, windows low to give my thoughts a blow…

But, NO! NO! NO! My curse will always find me and make good go from bad to oh so much worse!

A panic attack, a cop, and at home a toke, off to bed to escape my traumatized mind, PTSD triggered my brain is not kind.

I slept with no dreams, which was what I needed. The new day begun, I find myself cleaning with purpose again. I think to myself, “Obviously, this is where I belong.”

As I stuff my birthday bouquet of flowers into the garbage can, dead petals with a whimsical spin land on the tepid summer floor I had just swept.

I stare comatose at my atrophied feet, my breathing barely noticeable. The huuummm of the fidget, as it’s going to die, sounds like a rocket taking off, getting louder and louder and louder until I finally looked up…

From the far back of my blackhole of a brain muscle, where the sun and the moon and the stars full shine, I hear whispers tickling my neck at the spine:

“To thyself be kind, appreciate the complexity of your mind!”

wanting to

The orange glow swallowed by night outside, waiting for water to boil, my love light the only witness hearing the fire working below, and tired I forgot to withhold my impulse to dream a moment that I’d love to occur.

It’s so brief and gripping that for a few seconds I lost my breath, hand to heart, and I had to rest my head upon the edge of the cutting board! With a barrel laugh that echoes throughout my empty house, I reflect what I saw:

Across from you for the first time ready to talk, a mission of queries to keep hopelessly inappropriate thoughts out,  you grin innocent.

As if it’s totally normal, I start, “OK, forgive me but before we begin, I need to feel your face.”

And to my surprise, you lean forward with an intent stare…

As if blind with eyes wide, my hands move to hold both of your cheeks, fingers fan around your brow, circling round your eyes, until my thumb traces your jaw bone up by your ear, and here I move forward wanting to

Oh, NO!!!

But, my boiling insides remind me that this is how I’d fuck shit up!

(After Days of essay writing, imagination plays tricks on me…a hotel room for a conversation, why ever would he allow me to experience him so intimately, what is my brain thinking, lol;)

I used to go to bed with a frown furrowing my brow, past pain interfering with peace mind, brain buzzing insults I’m trying to sleep-heal.

Now, a smile spreads solace across my face, visions of a lustrous star makes me feel temporarily safe.

Boyant I Float

Gurgling I flounder,

lungs burning, strangled

to suffocate in silence, and

just as I see the light,

I inhale the water, baptized

in the death of an old soul

to arise a new spirit.

The light engulfs me

(lips cracked dehydrated

dead head and limbs)

as I wave lifeless, and light

forms a plump bubble,

protection, wisking me out

from the dark depths

of a nightmarish abyss.

Boyant I float, basking

warm in comfort, support,

UP-LIFTED so very high…

as I begin to breathe,

as I begin to believe,

clearer my piece of mind…

Your chin cradled where

my head meets body,

breathing a breeze

ultimately refreshing!!!

Love Light

sweet as candy,

as addictive

as lips part crack…

The layers of depth,

the hints of wandering,

the offering of perspective,

a journey of enlightenment

from beginning to end,

a glittering reflection

of intuitive introspection

this is what you showed me:

The open road of possibility,

the hills of the adventure,

golden fields, a canopy tree

the ocean waving the breeze,

even a pole calling me to speak

images of the beauty

I can’t see in my world,

I can’t find in me,

you expose me to a warmth

that tints my cheeks as fuchsia

as your flamingo shirt,

with my brain’s heat

pervading by body,

affixed I watch a star bursting

energy in front of me…

those open sky eyes,

the soft, gentle smile…

a moment I treasure,

filled with joy and laughter,

unlike any my brain

could possibly conceive

made my love light

again begin to glow brightly.

SHINE ON!

Inspiration to find my road to passion.

pulchritude

Each piece,

a pioneering puzzle,

the ultimate game of intrigue,

even intimacy,

exploring how pieces fit together

but to bare the pulchritude

buried within the secret

life of another.

What do you see

in the morning

first light of day?

What do you do to play?

Do responsibilities get in the way?

OR Do you SIEZE THE DAY!

???

I can’t stop myself

from wondering along my way.

a wonder to the light

Basking in the summer sun, humidity sucks upon my skin’s glisten so that hot and bothered, I try to talk to my lovely wonder out loud:

I ask the light, “Are you always this bright? Or do you actually know my soul, and that’s why your glow makes me so giddy I’m dizzy?”

(Talking to myself, I can’t fathom a true reply, so I go on, knowing that here, when I write, from my own truth I don’t hide🙂

“Your shine twinkles glitter and gold specks, mesmerizing my heart to melt into a fuchsia fusion of delightful energy, and into a slippery fall, I willingly tumble, embracing the dream with no expectation at all.”

(Oh, my dear, fear builds them brooding Indiana cornfield cumulonimbus clouds that tremble a thunder of doubt in the backdoor of my mind…

You’re still just a romantic fool by yourself, creating a beautiful reflection of a connection that you must have felt in another lifetime.

For the glow, I’m eternally grateful;)

Painter’s Song

Glowing

I stepped through a portal

into a different world

in which a dream grows reality

in a cosmic connection

of dancing souls, and

swirling we spin to GLOW

with tunes turning keys,

tumbling my tummy round…

Ohhh love! My heart sings loud,

Your glow makes me feel found.

Glow, Zack Gill

Thank you for an infectious reeling in glow!