I don’t believe it when I twist and manipulate and manifest beauty into something I want, then cry when obviously I knew in my heart that I could never have possibly possessed that kind of beauty anyway, you know, the kind of connection that calms me down, a shine of warmth when the darkness takes control.

I don’t know…I don’t know why, but I’m so sad at my loss of the one who gives flight to my soul. A flower barred from the garden, at the entrance I spread my petals as they fall, yearning for the one to knock on my door. (A ridiculous alternate reality I love to get lost in;)