I can’t even trust myself anymore. I’m so scared for the beginning to be the end. I revert to protecting my SELF. I doubt and I push and I cry:

“I have more to say, don’t go away! You’ll forget me in your world so full! You taught me to want to fly again! My fear tells me nothing good is for me so I must not be seeing things clearly. I can’t escape thinking of us meeting, please Zack, I’m pleading!”

Colorful dreams are all I can feel, for a mystical beauty is what you show me. Every image, every place, every instrument, every face, you exude a saving GRACE!

I want to tell you, but you’ll know, what I want doesn’t matter in my world. No matter how I try I can’t keep hope alive.

My 4th??? Maggots, no joke, invaded my garbage cans, then garage, after the refrigerator broke, fireworks canceled, everyone eracible but me, until alone I got bit by a bug poisoning my dream when I feel the most beauty.

Today hard long day, people challenging, emotions stale only family around picking on my flaws, but then, my sadness smells like flowers as I watch you sing, curing everything.

I’ll never make myself let go. No, so lovely a personality, you I can’t help but want to follow…even when you forget I exist.

I’ll build myself back up. I have to, always do. But, it’s easier with your words help.