Fetal position at the bottom of a basket hanging by strings beneath a rainbow balloon full of hot air floating adrift up, UP
UP and AWAY
I want to stay high! In fact, I want the fire to blow me higher!!!
I know fantasy doesn’t last, but the only time I feel my heart beat is kissing a moment past.
WHACK-SMACK! Reality’s back.
I twist my hair into a stiff bun, pick up my broom, sweeping lines of longing under the rug..
I’ve lived alone on the border of Arizona and Mexico, Phoenix, Flagstaff, Denver and Littleton, Colorado, and many towns in Indiana. I did alone well. I used to go to bars and concerts alone, restaurants and museums. I used to roll my wheelchair up mountains to take pictures, sail and rock climb to get high.
High is my current state of being, struggling to get by, OCD with animals constantly shedding, pain aching, pricking, and stabbing day in day out.
I don’t yell or shout, I never fight (despite the nitpicking comments thrown at me, blaming me for everything that goes wrong).
Silently (except in my head), I just keep cleaning up, dying to feel young, supple again, not an old wrinkly wench.
Dreams save my life, as a distraction from all my strife.
Oh, what a lovely distraction,
What a moment of reflection!
Stimulation, good vibrations;
Movement towards motivation.
I dance upon my consternation!
I’ll reach for the constellations,
Burning time with bright stars
Loving the ride will get me far.
In a labyrinth, with waves of silent echoes calling me through, palpable like rose petals wafting the nose to sneeze in spring,
I’m foggy, feeling my scorched earth, cracked in lines like wrinkles in the turf, reaching for your hand to save my being…
Melancholy, my mood follows me mad, knowing you’re gone. That is THAT!!!
Cramped between
nausea and hunger
my heart a stone
that can’t beat
when You
as sustenance
don’t come
to feed me,
when alone
You leave me.
The ache…
🩺
ECHOS!!!
Relieve me.
I want to be your pussy cat, climbing up your chest pit-a-pat, nuzzling my nose across your skin to tickle-lick the nape of your neck, and with a head rub upon your lobe, my purrrr vibrates waves of cravings to your inner-ear, “I need you!” echos loud and clear…(Can you hear???)
You may not have a cat, but as a cat owner, woth Banchee there’s one thing of which I’m certain: at times there’s a NEED, not just a want to be pet, aggression when denied, staring at me as if I don’t love him, like I lied. I’m kinda like that.
When I think I’ve lost you, when I’m SURE that your gone, when I’m positive I will NEVER, EVER get to rub your head again, I transform myself into a kitty, and I pretend that I’m your only pussy friend.
Like a cushy marshmallow beginning to drip goo over a light warming flame, inside I melt for You.
Warmth swells
then seeps
across my chest
like GOO melting
the cold heart
beneath with the
effect of Your DING
unsheathed–
A sound Oh so
pleasurable!
I cup my breast
and squeeze
You held hard
between…
Here, my Love
will always be.
Your lips my skin
Oh, Love! I want
to feel your tingles
tickle me once again.
I need you in me!
Pop up my head…
You slip. You slide.
I open myself wide
I let you come in
play around but then
in the end down you came
Tongue lashes help me
atone for my sins:
An angel in my
DEVILISH MIND.
Hopelessly Inappropriate Thoughts 