In Sighs (erotic)

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Oh, so high! My love a flame, burning me in sighs with clouds flashing dreams while floating around in my mind. I’ve got that feeling, and I can’t get you out if my head, hiding, I howl my secret to a full moon…

you come into me, face-to-face, slow ‘n’ steady you slip, slip, slide your tip deeper and deeper and I watch your eyes feel my walls succumbing to your hardness as you fill me full, leaning down to begin thrusts of passion into my core, hips slapping our beat under the sheets, driving yourself into my soul, our bodies to colliding in a horizontal mambo…until you kissing my lips, push, push, pushing against my walls again and again filling me with a firey lust that makes me cum with a pent-up explosion…

Three wicks lit, dancing flames illuminate the shadows as a new pen touches a journal crisp with untold adventures yet to be concocted, as if my pen were able to take me there…ohhh, sigh

Wow, what a dream, what a man. I love to love the idea.

Touched

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As if I’ve traveled, like I’m there, only better because it’s your voice I hear coming from so close by my ear, so confident, so eager to see, touch, be part of new and exciting things…that’s you, my eyes into a world in motion. I may be marooned, but I’m touched by what you share, like you want me there, lol.

Idealistically:

Why does he affect me with such lucidity? Why does picturing his face draw my hand to my chest as if to touch his hand inside holding my heart afloat?

Reality:

I always check myself at night before I indulge again, “He doesn’t know you exist, be satisfied by him allowing you to keep escaping with his images!”

A brain’s heart so touched it can’t help but burn with bursts of love.

Unexpected

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As I drove to help at my daughter’s work again, I realized I was singing, not staring absent or crying over a complex situation, no I felt like singing!

In an instant, fully cognizant of the difference in my temperament, I asked myself, Why? What’s different this morning from yesterday’s?

And I remembered how I fell asleep last night, relishing every frame of him singing until my eyes fell into my brain’s serenity (held within my phone’s screen).

Every day is the same for me.

I cherish his face, the way he moves his mouth…funniest thing ever is since I can remember, I had dreams of teeth, so not kidding, and the most hilarious part of yearning for this particular man is that I have literally had dreams about his mouth since childhood, lol!

How silly right!?! No one knows, it’s just a secret hidden deep in my heart without any point or purpose except to me. I swear, I couldn’t make this shit up.

I’m starting to have nightly panic attacks unfortunately. No one knows that either. I wonder why I cry, like letting out the pain of my hub killing hope will help me cope. What a joke.

I sware that other of mine is going to ruin G Love’s show for me (tried the first time I saw him in the Rockies, tried to ruin Billy Strings, and was a dick before (and I slept alone in the hotel room after) ALO too).

He makes the great in life taste…less sweet. 

Tonight, right now, with love guiding my sail, I will eat another man’s sweet, and I do not feel guilty. I’ll protect my heart, keep doing it alone, talking to myself, touching myself with images of us that pop up hot…

A clandestine transgression of fulfillment, wishes washing my soul into an awakening, my wish every evening.

My days with him helping me through each end, then, begin like this…

Baroque and Blue

Hiding Only to find a Wizard

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I’ve been hiding. No one noticed. I went to bed way too early, no TV, no music, no beautiful video to lull me to a good night’s sleep. Two days, only me, watching in my head, an emptiness, a hole growing like “The NOTHING” with me needing belief in the creative, golden light to make everything alright.

Now, I’m scared to touch that fire in me again would be dangerous…

I don’t have unrealistic expectations, but unreachable dreams that obviously could never be stroked, will never be embraced, a kiss never to be placed upon the lips I see at night in my sleep.

As I lie in bed, waiting for nothing to happen, I pretend he’s facing me, and I can study his eyes, trace every inch of his face, tell him about my day:

Like he’d care a beautiful ten year old girl at the special needs camp had trouble with sudden outbursts of anger and frustration, however, I happened to hear her say, “…and the wizard told the girl…”

I said, “I love wizards! Is that what you’re drawing?”

She told a few lines of her story, then went about talking to herself again, but calmer. Only he could see how cool this moment was for me.

I broke through with the toughest kid in camp because I met a wizard who truly does do magic.

How can anyone compare to how such a simple thing can make my heart remember how to with beat warmth, even on one the coldest of summer’s nights.

To do Done

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I miss reading. In books, I had adventures, I had friends, I had love. Finding the Canon changed my life first. The Awakening proved that a mundane life can hold captive a passionate soul. “Kubla Kahn” brought to life the floating pleasure-dome of Xanadu. So many lines, so much time enjoying the stories unfolding in my mind. Now, I feel dumb or blind to what’s good in life.

I don’t know how to do done? I can’t believe that this is my ‘it’ because I really don’t know how to go back from this emptiness that nothing I say or do can fix. I keep saying something is wrong, we’re not right, but nothing changes night after night.

Another day of me alone, dogs in the garage watching his wall, him talking to AI more than imaginable, for in my family it has already taken control, killing the creative soul.

Sound silent

Voice violent

Combat zone

Heart roams

Away alone

storms quiet

What would I say if I had my way?

To the birds

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Way back, a few months ago, a bird called me from the garage incessantly while I was furious, writing my angst out, by repeating what I’m serious sounded like “Look UP! Look UP!” I hadn’t heard it before that day, and I hadn’t heard it since, that is, until yesterday…I caught it on video, not one but two birds were calling me out, lol!!!

A couple, I think:)

Stuck in the house? No, time to fly out.

Demons

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The truth is moonlight sprinkling a vast forest floor, not right or righteous, always on guard, like demons at night, relishing the dark dreamscape, more real in its skew than a day’s reality feels. Whilst I sleep, I reach and reach to pet the demons, train them to behave, teach my shadows to dance with my demons in a promenade.

(I take him to bed with me, it’s true, I start my dream in a visual…beautiful. I still choose to sleep with my fantasy because my dream makes me happy. Some day maybe, just maybe I’ll get a piece of a real cake…OH, how I’d devour something sweet, lol;)

O.K.