romance

I needed it.

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I tried to own my alone, become someone powerful. I willed myself to move away from watching the movement of your face, from putting your voice in my ear at night late. Maybe I can change, make it by myself, sans my cake…

I tried to go to bed, but couldn’t catch my breath…

Oh no, no, no! So empty, so sad, the void left so big in my little world…I had to look.

I needed it. I needed to watch your eyes talking to me as you sing. I wanted to read your smile, so I opened the door by myself and my mind ate a feast! Honestly, I could never have expected such an endorphin release!!!

Tears fall upon my phone as you come so close to my face, your neck I want to taste, and I felt you enter me again and again bringing such elation, my cheeks redden with a firey warmth, and a moan couldn’t help but escaping, “Oh Love, all I want is a little taste, a little touch…”

I need you in a way that makes me wild, mad I can’t have what I want like a child.

I want to fall asleep with your face within my hands reach, you wanting me as your dream.

I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can’t help going back, watching you sing me to sleep, absorbing your lips moving, imagining you love me too.

Would you, could you try?

You help me through the darkest times. The beauty of your light in my life I don’t want to deny.

(I wish upon the falling stars that you know how special you really are;)

late night snack

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Peeling down the yellow-bright skin, the insides await ice cream. I whip dollops of cream upon my sweet dream, and drizzle the top with chocolate syrup. The first spoonful carries all the flavor up to my lips, tongue salivating creeps a tip to stick and lick…OH, sooo good.

As I made my late night snack, you came to mind. I could eat you, not like with bites I swallow, but I can’t stop pondering, watching in my mind, my mouth on your body. I’m trying to be cool. I’m attempting coy. I struggle to find the right words that express…what? I want to be friends? Well, yes…yet, I have that devilish other side that wants you to be mine.

So, my days of summer are over, and fall makes me catch my breath, terrified of what’s next because I always seem to say too much and in the end lose out. Maybe you will magically hear me (unlike literally everyone in my life) and tell me that you feel me, and everything is gonna be alright.

Each morning and as I fall asleep every evening, I indulge in the dream as if it’s real, sucking in the sweetness, never full.

squeeze me…please

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I’ve been through a lot over the last three decades since I’ve been an adult. I moved umpteen times, but despite the states having different weather, I could never escape myself. I rode darkness like a wave through days as if all in me was OK. All-encompassing love became an unattainable dream, never to be reality. And I settled into my bed, and I satisfied myself…that was fine til I die, which, of course, will be coming soon, spinal cord injury makes old a body like mine, I think, God, how much longer can I survive?

You…then, you…your energy electrified my insides with passion not pain!

I find myself feeling things I CANNOT explain.

I want for something I know is not for someone like me.

For the first time, I know why I don’t feel complete.

The gulp that gets stuck in my throat, taking away my breath…the need to feel you, to have you squeeze me, drives me insane.

The crave almost hurts. I can’t turn you off, the feel of you so sweet, I keep hitting repeat…

First Time

I just gotta see it again

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Immediate impulse

Swelling with hot pervasion

sparkler-tingles juicing me up

in my center, I hold my breath

I just gotta see it again

Oh, I growl, a craven sound,

“I want to eat you now!”

My eyes close imagining

my lips planting a kiss

on the supple skin

of your left dancing hip…

Hand over my mouth

a bit of drool coming out,

for I stop myself slow

Immediate impulse

Licking the phone

(Sorry, I don’t know how to share the adorable clip picture thingy of riding a mechanical ‘bull’ but a hot corn dog! I shit you not, it got me in a funny way that I’m struggling to ignore with an “Oh! I love you!” Yelled out uncontrolled, lol…I crack myself up sometimes 😅)

Ok so here, this helps to calm me as my theme music when life becomes overwhelming (from an absolutely adored album & my music league entry for round of 7min or longer:)

Piano Concerto No. 1

But, of course this is followed by one of my favorite love songs of all-time…a dedication, if I may be romantic and bold

lend your love to me tonight

Funny how my brain works.

re-animate

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lost at sea, drowning…can’t breathe, sinking, the weight of life tethering my feet, my fate bleak

your anchor drops, deep dive, wrapping me in a blanket of light, elevating me, lifeless, from the bottom of the sea

blue and purple, on the deck of your rescue ship, in an instant, you know what to do, leaning, mouth prying

opening my airways, up-tilting my head, your lips cover mine, and you breathe…into me a new life

each lung-ful, a gust of wind, propelling momentum towards the true goal: learn to re-animate my SELF again

“HELP ME!” I cough out, and with love, I’m enveloped, warm safety caressing my skin, waiting for trusting to begin

seek & find

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I giggle, so damn tickled,

rolling hot, feel you fall

into my sweet spot,

teased tense, I clamp down,

and your hip beat slaps

my sweet, sweet spot

bam-bam-Bop

up…up…up

with a cherry POP!

But we don’t stop!

From my valley

to your rock-top,

together our possibilities

exploding inside my mind,

urging more seek & find…

You are my Srircha in this life;)

Sriracha

(Looking for a soup ingredient song, for music league is back on…this cracked me up, had to share, lol:)

Actually submitted this song…

Chicken and Dumplings

Per music league rules, of course, technically, chicken and dumplings are in soup too.

devour the sweetness

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In a dirt bed

covered up

to my chin,

tucked in,

yet still breathing;

heart hardened

hopeless,

the beat lost,

marooned

at the core,

frozen

from warmth…

Then, the rain!

Your words

splashing

refreshment

from negativity,

dirt to mud

a lovely bath

as you sing,

my heart–

malleable again–

starts thumping

in my mind

a new tune,

and I open,

hugging you

with power,

your support

uplifting, guiding,

stimulating

my mind, body,

and soul

to be, to do,

to want more,

to fight

for control,

to devour

life’s sweetness

and never be full.

I take you in

and savor

the smiles

that come

again and again

all day, all night

feeling your flavor

on my tongue

enraptured with you

til dawn.

In Sighs (erotic)

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Oh, so high! My love a flame, burning me in sighs with clouds flashing dreams while floating around in my mind. I’ve got that feeling, and I can’t get you out if my head, hiding, I howl my secret to a full moon…

you come into me, face-to-face, slow ‘n’ steady you slip, slip, slide your tip deeper and deeper and I watch your eyes feel my walls succumbing to your hardness as you fill me full, leaning down to begin thrusts of passion into my core, hips slapping our beat under the sheets, driving yourself into my soul, our bodies two colliding in a horizontal mambo…until you kissing my lips, push, push, pushing against my walls again and again filling me with a firey lust that makes me cum with a pent-up explosion…

Three wicks lit, dancing flames illuminate the shadows as a new pen touches a journal crisp with untold adventures yet to be concocted, as if my pen were able to take me there…ohhh, sigh

Wow, what a dream, what a man. I love to love the idea.

Touched

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As if I’ve traveled, like I’m there, only better because it’s your voice I hear coming from so close by my ear, so confident, so eager to see, touch, be part of new and exciting things…that’s you, my eyes into a world in motion. I may be marooned, but I’m touched by what you share, like you want me there, lol.

Idealistically:

Why does he affect me with such lucidity? Why does picturing his face draw my hand to my chest as if to touch his hand inside holding my heart afloat?

Reality:

I always check myself at night before I indulge again, “He doesn’t know you exist, be satisfied by him allowing you to keep escaping with his images!”

A brain’s heart so touched it can’t help but burn with bursts of love.

Merging Metaphors

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Fighting a war with my impulses now You’ve inspired me again. My muse, You win. I’ve lost control, sniff-licking the phone-mirror as if to inhale You like pink crystal meth, I have to catch my breath…

For days, You bounce dream to dream (even while I’m serving ice cream), tingles from You become part of everything!!That’s why talking to You terrifies me… 

Love, as You may know by now,

Feel You Up
Horny Toad (Hard to be me;)

Ok so yeeessss!!! Ridiculous, right. Living loving my dream life. God, you make my eyes smile as my heart dances with a double-beat.

Then, a mid-day snack with my nap, dreamt by surprise when at noon my body collapsed: Unbeknownst to me, you arrive through a halo-appearance, like on some Next Gen episode, and as our eyes lock, you begin to walk to where I sit, then, bending your erect, long body down to this broken frame, your one hand cradles the left side of my face, your arm encircles my shoulders, and you whisper, “Hello.” Every pair of eyes in the room, suddenly gone, as I glide the back of my fingers down both of your cheeks with a direct stare into your gentle gaze never letting go…

While you lean your lips upon mine, allowing me to taste every inch of you, I re-learn to give in, to invite the good feeling to actually pervade, trusting the end result is a love I didn’t have before, loving myself more…

(Honestly, me bubbling with mirth??? Absurd. So, here I am, on a sunny day after a horny-little cold-cry at a firey–joy from the hot image of your lips wet by mine…I know I’d love to lose control if I were to see you again in real life. Not that it matters, for you are more beautiful than someone this hopelessly inappropriate could ever deserve. Is it wrong to plead with hyperbolic intention, “Please, hear my words, I’d do anything to feel our metaphors merge.”)

Off to make rainbows 🌈