Magical Ride

The day sets orange and pink, clouds spread into fairy wings. Alone I observe, writing on glass and stone.

I’ve held back the urge, held it in, knowing full well, it’s growing BIGGER trapped silent inside. My muscles twitch with want, the burden of control taunts a defiant part of my soul to break the chains keeping me stuck still.

The time has come, the urge a balloon that’s ready to POP out of my mouth, and I open wide, “Magic carpet, take me for a ride.”

As if a wizard from a far off land hears my heart’s yelp for help, there, suddenly, out of thin air, a woven carpet did appear!

With an irredecent wave, cyan threads shimmer gold glitters about a puffy cushion that’s calling for a friend.

A corner tassel bundle shakes a toss to say, Come here…

But, I never had to move. I floated right out of my seat across the way to a gentle splat in the middle of the mat.

“Oh, my golly gee!” I giggle, “What a treat! I wonder who I’ll meet?”

No fly-zone necessary for my magic carpet ride, jumping through time and space, I landed right by your side!

After the rush of being alone settles in your room, while you’re still shining bright from your night, feel the shades of my shadow begin to come alive.

Did you feel my shadow shamelessly sitting on your lap like a cat.

This is where I will sleep tonight, with your hands on my mind…

(I find moments in my day where I’m lost in an image like when your fingers stroke all the right notes, the key-master unlocking the passion in my heart that I forgot.)

Oddest Flowers

Even the oddest

flowers can flourish.

No sowing.

At first, just a seed

blowing when it falls

into a driveway crack,

and dormant instinct

roots foundation through

the black tar and gravel

until the magic of a spring

environment rains

light-food and nutrient-water

to seep deep then

an unlikely flower pushes

with burgeoning strength

through paved black-top.

Resiliency from infancy.

That’s me.

the color of hope

I want to be part of the colorful tree, the crown, a leaf, a limb, the bark, a tap root, even a root hair.

I think about it and stare at what’s in front of me, walls, a roof, windows, a front and back door.

I go nowhere, but here.

Maybe, if I had the money, motivation would follow, but unfortunately, people scare me, I say too much, and mortified, I leave saying, “Sorry…”

Gregarious and fun, I love to be, so maybe, if I keep practicing, when I’m comfortable, maybe just maybe, I’ll find a way to fit into society. 

A monkey doing tricks to keep my spirit high, maybe if I again use Emerson’s tree metaphor of society and turn it into a lovely image…Yes, a visual of magic working:

“Nature always wears the color of the spirit.”

From blue to red and back again, I am everything between.

Alone or not, I can be my own fucking party!

Gut Giggle

Deep in the gut, a giggle floats up, sweetening a sour tummy to jiggle like jello covered in honey!

As you dance, a boy with a balloon, exuding passion through your spirit so real, so true, you are a perfect picture of youth loving life.

I’m so, so, so, SOOOO happy for you!

Each day the birds sing a tale anew, the greatest treasure of a poet is a muse. Mine is you.

A ladybug, invisible,

held in the sticky

yellow center of a bud,

blindly reaching

for the nourishment

of the firey sun,

rooted on the bank

of a riverbend,

a journey neverending,

with a wizard watching

ashore mesmerizing

waves swirling 

with his staff playing,

inspiring the circle

light to bursting

color into the world,

a hot hug of love.

What’s in a name?

A simple gesture that means so much, using my name, I am STUNNED and touched. Each night you teach me. I travel to worlds I’ve never known. Oh, how I love watching you roam!

Rained out fun for my son, everyone already in bed for the night, except for me, ya know, usual shit at the usual time…

Yet…

Quiet is no longer deafening, I can pull up a memory and watch you sing, silently hoping some day to touch you again. Like shedding my battle-scared skin for a new image of myself, like my soul exchanging a blackhole for a sunrise, I’ve dared to enjoy the fall.

Honestly, I don’t think a personality has ever been more lustrous. Hot damn! I absolutely adore every piece of your puzzle!

Oh, how I can imagine, with you, a snugglešŸ˜‰

You’re too addictive if I’m being honest. Of course, I want more. I have to push, push, PUSH my desire deep, where maybe it’ll fall asleep because right now, I sware…

IĀ yearn to learn you more each night, traveling dreams to feel your light.

to play with a wizard

In the shower this morning, running late for a playdate, I listen to my daily dose of musical poetry when words I’ve never heard before ring true from my phone, and the images begin to pour upon my skull, drips of magnetic magic that transform to steam up the room, twist up my nose and tumble in my core…gems of meaning uncover themselves, bringing drops rolling from my eyes, closed with a wizard behind.

Bubbles gathered in my hair, I rinse, the dead down the drain with that wizard’s creative magic.

As dusk dawns my new day, I reflect for time three:

Oh, my Wizard, a spell more! My urges implore.

Finally alone, open door on my mind…Smoke fills the garage as I blow ‘Dante’s Inferno’ out, no longer a harpie eating the leaves of Hell’s Trees. Not me! I finally reflect the light of living!

Shadows dancing out of the smoke to past songs, until I feast on the novel burning beneath, in my heart, squeezing your image in my chest, ready again to feel your OH, so lovely magic notes!

Fireworks bursting all around me, I feel like Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and while the Wizard sleeps, I want to play with all his tools! Innocent at first I tinker, but words with me tend to get away as things I shouldn’t think or say.

Therefore, overwhelmed with adoration, everything I want to say seems wrong, too much, just like me.

I didn’t celebrate July 4th last year, politically too pissed, but this year the explosions are going off inside me and I feel like the only thing that might help is to go lie down…allow darkness and the storm’s thunder to settle…and begin to travel to a magical castle, his hand in mine, and I turn his palm up so I can kiss the center as I look in his eyes, thank him for coming into my life.

The rest of the story is yet to be told. I love watching his stories unfold!!!

steamy tonight you come

Steamy, cloudy the beginning unfolds,

as bold and erect as I can,

I walk through the open door

into the light with eyes solely focus

upon the prize on the other side…

My palm finds your cheek,

which I carress with a knuckle sweep.

Every nerve twitching, you see me,

and locked in a moment miracle,

I know I would lose control!

You would finally know for sure.

Obvious, the yearn craving loud,

I’d lean my cheek to brush yours,

ear an inch from my mouth, whisper,

“Forgive me, I can’t help myself…

a secret dream is to feel your lips

for just a moment of your time–

Indulgences utterly sublime!“

Oh muse, I watch your mouth move

not caring if there’s danger here.

Your fire gets me high and hot

and with you in me, I want to stay lost

with my core combustion churning

the love and lust within my breast,

a tasty treat of beautiful singing,

a lullaby to snuggle my mind tonight.

(If only I really could magically will my dreams turn real, lol. My truth is harder to swallow…

You know when something like a dream comes true, actually happens, and you’re on the other side, knowing likely you’ll never get such a riveting feeling again? Oh, my woe acts like an asshole! LOL;)

Oh, to kiss the lips that sing me sleep, a dreamy that’s steamy…

What I hide

I want to feel the joy of nose nuzzles and clandestine kisses, I want love that swells and sways.

I stay silent, hiding my true theme: I love more than I should say. I want someone who’s not mine.

I think it best if I go away until something changes, otherwise, I’ll be ranting and raving.

(-I need to break out of my cell-)

Wish I knew how šŸ¤”

I wish desire, I wish passion mattered. Any poem, any card, any piece of writing I’ve shared meant less than nothing, in fact, the attempts at romance were annoying.

Surprised? Nearly 20 years. So what?

I’m done.

He doesn’t even realize I’m already gone.

Waiting to bloom, my flower needs the sun’s light, but first, I endure the rain through night.

wanting to

The orange glow swallowed by night outside, waiting for water to boil, my love light the only witness hearing the fire working below, and tired I forgot to withhold my impulse to dream a moment that I’d love to occur.

It’s so brief and gripping that for a few seconds I lost my breath, hand to heart, and I had to rest my head upon the edge of the cutting board! With a barrel laugh that echoes throughout my empty house, I reflect what I saw:

Across from you for the first time ready to talk, a mission of queries to keep hopelessly inappropriate thoughts out,  you grin innocent.

As if it’s totally normal, I start, “OK, forgive me but before we begin, I need to feel your face.”

And to my surprise, you lean forward with an intent stare…

As if blind with eyes wide, my hands move to hold both of your cheeks, fingers fan around your brow, circling round your eyes, until my thumb traces your jaw bone up by your ear, and here I move forward wanting to

Oh, NO!!!

But, my boiling insides remind me that this is how I’d fuck shit up!

(After Days of essay writing, imagination plays tricks on me…a hotel room for a conversation, why ever would he allow me to experience him so intimately, what is my brain thinking, lol;)

I used to go to bed with a frown furrowing my brow, past pain interfering with peace mind, brain buzzing insults I’m trying to sleep-heal.

Now, a smile spreads solace across my face, visions of a lustrous star makes me feel temporarily safe.

Boyant I Float

Gurgling I flounder,

lungs burning, strangled

to suffocate in silence, and

just as I see the light,

I inhale the water, baptized

in the death of an old soul

to arise a new spirit.

The light engulfs me

(lips cracked dehydrated

dead head and limbs)

as I wave lifeless, and light

forms a plump bubble,

protection, wisking me out

from the dark depths

of a nightmarish abyss.

Boyant I float, basking

warm in comfort, support,

UP-LIFTED so very high…

as I begin to breathe,

as I begin to believe,

clearer my piece of mind…

Your chin cradled where

my head meets body,

breathing a breeze

ultimately refreshing!!!