creative writing

Present

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There’s a line that repeats in my head every time I get super frustrated at my life:

“the medicine of speaking and listening”

Remember back to when smoking pot was new and exciting. A person would puff ‘n’ give while talking, smoke pouring out of their mouth because they’re laughing…I can’t even speak while passing a peace pipe, NO ONE is listening, let alone hearing anything from my lips. A wife is said to become annoying, but NO ONE realizes I’m gone. It’s sad, but not for me.

I have that line.

“the medicine of speaking and listening”

I thought it was me. I’m just not worth listening to, I have no job, I have nothing important to say, so why should anyone listen to me? Fuck that. Sorry to be crass. I’m done being the blame for his wrongs. I’m done feeling like an ass.

I’m yearning for growth through connection, conversation like I used to feel when I got out of my head.

I wish I could give you a present for all the ways you help me in a day. Fun images when snide comments are thrown my way. Lovely lines that encourage my strength, advice in a way to not lose my shit when repeatedly I’m made to feel like a dick. It didn’t matter how often he tried to ruin my day, he couldn’t. Instead of crying and hiding, I climbed a hill and took a cool picture like I used to do when I was by myself. Progress I feel.

Nature giving you a hug 🫂

a moon’s tale

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The full moon, milky white, sends shadows raining through the forest to shade the trees, who wave with the slight summer breeze. Allthewhile, Nature’s night-lights zip and zoom, flashing code, hoping to bring a loved one home.

Drips from eyes, drips from skin, I lie at the base of a dead tree, once a towering oak like me, recently toppled by a mighty storm. Fetal and ready to give in, a miracle happens:

From a Heaven in the cosmos, blessed by the moon’s magnetic magic, a star falls. The midnight moon blinks darkness with the clouds, but the star burns a tail of fire, flashing brightest just before landing like a rock rolling.

A moon dust cloud dissipates to reveal a glowing golden sphere, darkness and light ccombine, pushing against each other with such force…the golden globe cracks open with a thundering drum roll, vibrating my soul.

Two hemispheres once met OPEN a shimmering portal, a parallel universe, out from which you bow into my world to transform everything I’ve ever known. Your positive energy produces an orange aura that moves your shadow asway, mesmerizing me.

Closer…closer…a steady, measured approach as float turns to a sturdy gate, you move towards me with a smile on your face. Inching yourself over to my naked body. Warmth from your eyes saturates my skin with the pricks of goose bumps, and you bend down on one knee.

A natural moonlight melody comes from your lips, “Kelley, I’m here…” And your arms cover me with an instant embrace that whisks me up…up and away…

You cradle me as I become the color of free.

(Oh, my addiction to the thrill of adoration! I literally roll my wheelchair in and out of challenging all day, every day…but, I take the longing, under the covers…you are intoxicating!

However, coveting with intensity, longing to consume the joy of your fire…I couldn’t get much higher…)

Mourning Mist

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Missed you are,

I have to say.

Mourning mist with

my eyes closed

wet by my cry…

Now, You I find:

Droplets glisten

on lustrous skin

newly cleaned

Just for me!

I drink a lick

from your neck

teeth massage

as you slide in

slow pushes, long

with kisses, caresses

spinning me round

atop Your cock

a bounce to hop 

You in and out,

up and down,

Your hand guiding

my ass rock,

I arch You deeply

fitting you keylocked

COMPLETELY

an eruption we build

fucking each other

HARD, HARD filled

PUSH,  OH!

PUMP,  OH!!

YES! OH, OH, OH!!!

How I want to hear

You cumming inside,

moaning in my ear!

I must confide.

(To You: Not feeling you makes life dark, like I’m mourning the loss of you just before every morning light, yelling while sleeping, “HELP!” But, you’re not longer listening.  I wish for a moment to feel your light glistening.)

LOOK…SEE

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I don’t have to look to see, a perfect picture memory. Each reel turns up bright any time I close my eyes, runs as black and white shadows exposing my favorite plays, endearing expressions, rogue games of intellectual fun, silliness so sweet, I eat it up, starving for more treats, and centered deep as if tickled in a yet to be discovered part, I giggle with innocent elation for the shining star of my dreams, a musical angel who comforts me, teaching transcending pain to bloom a new beginning.

Oh, to share your air…to physically feel the energy flow from your fingers, from your lips, to observe your personality dance again…oh me, oh my, what a silly romantic am I!!!

I know better, no way, but I embrace the dream at midnight as I fall asleep;)

Ode to a Broom

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You always stand up tall, even while just leaning against the wall, ready when the moment calls to do nothing but help when the shit hits the wall, and never wasting precious energy distracted by fun or shiny things. To you, diligence working is satisfying.

Away with spiders and webs!

Brush up dander and dust.

Be GONE bugs, food, death!

Your destruction is the purpose.

No more crying over mucky shadows stuck tile after tile. The broom preps the surface smooth until I steam the ugly beautiful. I don’t know what I’d do without you…❤️

Magical Ride

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The day sets orange and pink, clouds spread into fairy wings. Alone I observe, writing on glass and stone.

I’ve held back the urge, held it in, knowing full well, it’s growing BIGGER trapped silent inside. My muscles twitch with want, the burden of control taunts a defiant part of my soul to break the chains keeping me stuck still.

The time has come, the urge a balloon that’s ready to POP out of my mouth, and I open wide, “Magic carpet, take me for a ride.”

As if a wizard from a far off land hears my heart’s yelp for help, there, suddenly, out of thin air, a woven carpet did appear!

With an irredecent wave, cyan threads shimmer gold glitters about a puffy cushion that’s calling for a friend.

A corner tassel bundle shakes a toss to say, Come here…

But, I never had to move. I floated right out of my seat across the way to a gentle splat in the middle of the mat.

“Oh, my golly gee!” I giggle, “What a treat! I wonder who I’ll meet?”

No fly-zone necessary for my magic carpet ride, jumping through time and space, I landed right by your side!

After the rush of being alone settles in your room, while you’re still shining bright from your night, feel the shades of my shadow begin to come alive.

Did you feel my shadow shamelessly sitting on your lap like a cat.

This is where I will sleep tonight, with your hands on my mind…

(I find moments in my day where I’m lost in an image like when your fingers stroke all the right notes, the key-master unlocking the passion in my heart that I forgot.)

Oddest Flowers

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Even the oddest

flowers can flourish.

No sowing.

At first, just a seed

blowing when it falls

into a driveway crack,

and dormant instinct

roots foundation through

the black tar and gravel

until the magic of a spring

environment rains

light-food and nutrient-water

to seep deep then

an unlikely flower pushes

with burgeoning strength

through paved black-top.

Resiliency from infancy.

That’s me.

the color of hope

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I want to be part of the colorful tree, the crown, a leaf, a limb, the bark, a tap root, even a root hair.

I think about it and stare at what’s in front of me, walls, a roof, windows, a front and back door.

I go nowhere, but here.

Maybe, if I had the money, motivation would follow, but unfortunately, people scare me, I say too much, and mortified, I leave saying, “Sorry…”

Gregarious and fun, I love to be, so maybe, if I keep practicing, when I’m comfortable, maybe just maybe, I’ll find a way to fit into society. 

A monkey doing tricks to keep my spirit high, maybe if I again use Emerson’s tree metaphor of society and turn it into a lovely image…Yes, a visual of magic working:

“Nature always wears the color of the spirit.”

From blue to red and back again, I am everything between.

Alone or not, I can be my own fucking party!

Gut Giggle

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Deep in the gut, a giggle floats up, sweetening a sour tummy to jiggle like jello covered in honey!

As you dance, a boy with a balloon, exuding passion through your spirit so real, so true, you are a perfect picture of youth loving life.

I’m so, so, so, SOOOO happy for you!

Each day the birds sing a tale anew, the greatest treasure of a poet is a muse. Mine is you.

A ladybug, invisible,

held in the sticky

yellow center of a bud,

blindly reaching

for the nourishment

of the firey sun,

rooted on the bank

of a riverbend,

a journey neverending,

with a wizard watching

ashore mesmerizing

waves swirling 

with his staff playing,

inspiring the circle

light to bursting

color into the world,

a hot hug of love.