With the momentum of being shot out of a cannon, I soared into the clouds, into the stars, hung onto the moon for a flip, a laughing dodo flying to fall when gravity threw me to splat on my ass in the same place as if I never left, a rock in my throat that makes me choke: I will never feel that high again.
Author: Hopelessly Inappropriate
a twist of beauty
I don’t believe it when I twist and manipulate and manifest beauty into something I want, then cry when obviously I knew in my heart that I could never have possibly possessed that kind of beauty anyway, you know, the kind of connection that calms me down, a shine of warmth when the darkness takes control.
I don’t know…I don’t know why, but I’m so sad at my loss of the one who gives flight to my soul. A flower barred from the garden, at the entrance I spread my petals as they fall, yearning for the one to knock on my door. (A ridiculous alternate reality I love to get lost in;)
Free Fall
The wandering mind requires discipline.
I focus on what’s in front of me, concentrating on family, which is functioning because of me. I’m happy…
Except
Empty
Exacerbated
A slight shiver of cold manifests a blizzard cloud of loss, tossing my body to a hypothermic mode.
I exhale…
I need something to breathe new life in me, for I’m failing to find free.
Away
Adventure
Alleviated
That’s why I love fantasy, I can create myself anything. I’m letting in the light and going for a drive to the water for sunset tonight.
A Note
Finger taps, gentle raps
tap — tap — tap
In a wait, heart aches
rap — rap — rap
Circles, thoughts pound
round — round — round
Intake, your new sound
Dear Muse: I eat your words, brain food that packs a punch, nourishment for life I need to get by, an inspiration encouraging motivation…Oh, the voice that calms the pain in my daily routine is priceless to me! I wish I could give something back.
Does love from someone you don’t know mean anything?
(The question cracks me up, honestly, sure he’d find it creepy, lol.
Here and now, I admit that controlling my inappropriate impulsivity is challenging, especially when it’s such lovely fun to escape. I’ve had an epiphany over the last few days as that insane crave grew into a monster, and I allowed myself to practice taking off my armor.
Naked and vulnerable, I hope to share unabashedly in the future because that’s how I find lately that I heal.)
Permission
If only…
My submission:
I request
Your permission;
Then, only
My heart
I trust
Love’s fruition.
Oh, my muse, if only you knew…
Would a part of you kinda want my adoration of you, even the naughty thoughts of my nature?
(Funny thing, his she is not me, but god I fantasize our conversation like he was my untouchable friend, lol. It’s like I’m secretly practicing talking, ok so it’s still in my head, but there’s a “someday” goal to watch him face-to-face again…innocent, of course, me watching him playing masterfully;)
mourning shadows
I don’t reside here. I’m just preparing. Where is my voice? Why can’t I speak? Why can’t I just be ok living this way? Empty. Despite how I try to fill my space with a positive state of mind, I feel like I’m here just to watch until I die.
I refuse that fucking life. I sware I’ll keep practicing and getting stronger and one day I’ll do it. I’ll stand up for myself and find the voice of my authentic self.
Until then…I’ll just keep incessantly cleaning, my only form of control in my upside-down world.
This struck my chord as I sniff sweet coffee steam, the storm beating down on me and the roof over my head, lightning behind my eyes, shocking my brain to the truth of why I can’t help but feel insane.
But, I’m a woman, and I will survive.
In Sighs (erotic)
Oh, so high! My love a flame, burning me in sighs with clouds flashing dreams while floating around in my mind. I’ve got that feeling, and I can’t get you out if my head, hiding, I howl my secret to a full moon…
you come into me, face-to-face, slow ‘n’ steady you slip, slip, slide your tip deeper and deeper and I watch your eyes feel my walls succumbing to your hardness as you fill me full, leaning down to begin thrusts of passion into my core, hips slapping our beat under the sheets, driving yourself into my soul, our bodies two colliding in a horizontal mambo…until you kissing my lips, push, push, pushing against my walls again and again filling me with a firey lust that makes me cum with a pent-up explosion…
Three wicks lit, dancing flames illuminate the shadows as a new pen touches a journal crisp with untold adventures yet to be concocted, as if my pen were able to take me there…ohhh, sigh
Wow, what a dream, what a man. I love to love the idea.
Would you…?
A sliver of tongue, in-take to passion, full- in my longing, noses loving nudges and hugs. I wait for you, my dream, to sweep me off my seat, to polish me shiny, rubbed in circles, to produce only beauty as we go into a pool floating in each other’s dreams.
Touched
As if I’ve traveled, like I’m there, only better because it’s your voice I hear coming from so close by my ear, so confident, so eager to see, touch, be part of new and exciting things…that’s you, my eyes into a world in motion. I may be marooned, but I’m touched by what you share, like you want me there, lol.
Idealistically:
Why does he affect me with such lucidity? Why does picturing his face draw my hand to my chest as if to touch his hand inside holding my heart afloat?
Reality:
I always check myself at night before I indulge again, “He doesn’t know you exist, be satisfied by him allowing you to keep escaping with his images!”
A brain’s heart so touched it can’t help but burn with bursts of love.
shadows of life
A break I take
to inhale a moment
of the sunny day,
greedy for some
comforting light
to take the chill
from the stark
of my darkness,
lashes butterflies
adjusting the bright
to shadows of life.
