Gut Giggle

Deep in the gut, a giggle floats up, sweetening a sour tummy to jiggle like jello covered in honey!

As you dance, a boy with a balloon, exuding passion through your spirit so real, so true, you are a perfect picture of youth loving life.

I’m so, so, so, SOOOO happy for you!

Each day the birds sing a tale anew, the greatest treasure of a poet is a muse. Mine is you.

A ladybug, invisible,

held in the sticky

yellow center of a bud,

blindly reaching

for the nourishment

of the firey sun,

rooted on the bank

of a riverbend,

a journey neverending,

with a wizard watching

ashore mesmerizing

waves swirling 

with his staff playing,

inspiring the circle

light to bursting

color into the world,

a hot hug of love.

I don’t trust

I can’t even trust myself anymore. I’m so scared for the beginning to be the end. I revert to protecting my SELF. I doubt and I push and I cry:

“I have more to say, don’t go away! You’ll forget me in your world so full! You taught me to want to fly again! My fear tells me nothing good is for me so I must not be seeing things clearly. I can’t escape thinking of us meeting, please Zack, I’m pleading!”

Colorful dreams are all I can feel, for a mystical beauty is what you show me. Every image, every place, every instrument, every face, you exude a saving GRACE!

I want to tell you, but you’ll know, what I want doesn’t matter in my world. No matter how I try I can’t keep hope alive.

My 4th??? Maggots, no joke, invaded my garbage cans, then garage, after the refrigerator broke, fireworks canceled, everyone eracible but me, until alone I got bit by a bug poisoning my dream when I feel the most beauty.

Today hard long day, people challenging, emotions stale only family around picking on my flaws, but then, my sadness smells like flowers as I watch you sing, curing everything.

I’ll never make myself let go. No, so lovely a personality, you I can’t help but want to follow…even when you forget I exist.

I’ll build myself back up. I have to, always do. But, it’s easier with your words help.

In a Battle

In a battle with my SELF. There’s no blue, no gray: BLACK and white only. Both just as necessary,  both needing control;

Trying to figure shit out, both pissing me off! Darkness absorbing light, white fights a push back. Both churning growth.

In a battle with my SELF. I will fight to be red, different than in my head, understanding my misunderstood.

Undiscovered Hope

A creepy, crawling caterpillar can do it, so can I. I’ll find a way to a butterfly! The undiscovered hope is here. The light, the fire is in me, I hear the truth, I listen to the point, and I love too much the inspiration in his voice, makes me laugh and blush with innocence and joy, happy tears build release.

I hear the truth:

Undiscovered County

Baby steps, lol…

A new fire burns in me, I travel with it in my dreams where magic loves working for me.

What’s in a name?

A simple gesture that means so much, using my name, I am STUNNED and touched. Each night you teach me. I travel to worlds I’ve never known. Oh, how I love watching you roam!

Rained out fun for my son, everyone already in bed for the night, except for me, ya know, usual shit at the usual time…

Yet…

Quiet is no longer deafening, I can pull up a memory and watch you sing, silently hoping some day to touch you again. Like shedding my battle-scared skin for a new image of myself, like my soul exchanging a blackhole for a sunrise, I’ve dared to enjoy the fall.

Honestly, I don’t think a personality has ever been more lustrous. Hot damn! I absolutely adore every piece of your puzzle!

Oh, how I can imagine, with you, a snuggle😉

You’re too addictive if I’m being honest. Of course, I want more. I have to push, push, PUSH my desire deep, where maybe it’ll fall asleep because right now, I sware…

I yearn to learn you more each night, traveling dreams to feel your light.

You Fill My Empty Cup

Awakening

with a smile,

lungs full caught

p-a-u-s-e,

I creep my arms

from a cross

over my chest

to hands clasped

like butterfly wings

at the base of my neck,

remembering

the sweetest dream:

You knowing me.

As a perfect stranger,

you hear me better

than anyone

in my daily reality.

In my world,

everything I think

is so misunderstood,

lately I didn’t know 

if I contain

anything good.

You fill my empty cup clean full up with the most marvelous tea, leaves illuminating color in everything, a dawning of beauty within me. Sobering slow, enjoying every single moment as I go in the spirit of Carpe Diem! In awe.

to play with a wizard

In the shower this morning, running late for a playdate, I listen to my daily dose of musical poetry when words I’ve never heard before ring true from my phone, and the images begin to pour upon my skull, drips of magnetic magic that transform to steam up the room, twist up my nose and tumble in my core…gems of meaning uncover themselves, bringing drops rolling from my eyes, closed with a wizard behind.

Bubbles gathered in my hair, I rinse, the dead down the drain with that wizard’s creative magic.

As dusk dawns my new day, I reflect for time three:

Oh, my Wizard, a spell more! My urges implore.

Finally alone, open door on my mind…Smoke fills the garage as I blow ‘Dante’s Inferno’ out, no longer a harpie eating the leaves of Hell’s Trees. Not me! I finally reflect the light of living!

Shadows dancing out of the smoke to past songs, until I feast on the novel burning beneath, in my heart, squeezing your image in my chest, ready again to feel your OH, so lovely magic notes!

Fireworks bursting all around me, I feel like Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and while the Wizard sleeps, I want to play with all his tools! Innocent at first I tinker, but words with me tend to get away as things I shouldn’t think or say.

Therefore, overwhelmed with adoration, everything I want to say seems wrong, too much, just like me.

I didn’t celebrate July 4th last year, politically too pissed, but this year the explosions are going off inside me and I feel like the only thing that might help is to go lie down…allow darkness and the storm’s thunder to settle…and begin to travel to a magical castle, his hand in mine, and I turn his palm up so I can kiss the center as I look in his eyes, thank him for coming into my life.

The rest of the story is yet to be told. I love watching his stories unfold!!!

warm inside

Brain sweltering, heat melting me,

a tornado following me incessantly,

tearing at my seams, all as I’m drowning,

OH! So parched, and I slip my fingertips

to wrap into the thick grooves of clay,

addiction carved out waves,

mind dancing with a dream,

reality lost (my SELF almost not caring),

tongue extended, longing,

dry-salivating for a drop to come down,

so I tip – tip – tip – TIP…Til

the rim sits just above my open mouth,

tongue out suspended,

wiggling with such want

I realize (shaking a hand full of empty)

syrup stuck to the bottom of the cup

There, your eyes peering through at me,

tempting my taste buds to bloom

my opening wide, warm inside.