Rigid patterns
Frigid heart
(Shuts out sparks,
Nothing stays)
Rainbow bright
–Out damn night–
Dreams fill days
More, I crave
Mourning up
I splat down
Long fingers
Linger latent
Extend strength
Aide my angst
Defend my fate
A wise prophet
A proffering
I inhale deep
In you seep…
You saving me
(A soul so cold
died long ago,
Back to life
Every night)
I see G Love in Kalamazoo, MI in August. (Got to meet him a 4th of July like 10 years ago, so sweet, have a blurry picture, lol). Wish you were there.
Even the oddest
flowers can flourish.
No sowing.
At first, just a seed
blowing when it falls
into a driveway crack,
and dormant instinct
roots foundation through
the black tar and gravel
until the magic of a spring
environment rains
light-food and nutrient-water
to seep deep then
an unlikely flower pushes
with burgeoning strength
through paved black-top.
Resiliency from infancy.
That’s me.
I take you to bed each night, a bear hug to my brain as I lie down physically, emotionally drained.
I wrap myself in the memory of that voice, that face, warming me deep in a secret place.
I eat those lines like spaghetti, sucking out the meaning of life as every ‘Ooohhh’ makes me feel high!
I watch the open eye gradually close, time measured by light, and know ‘Stay strong, you’re not alone tonight.’
WHACK-SMACK! Reality’s back.
I twist my hair into a stiff bun, pick up my broom, sweeping lines of longing under the rug..
I’ve lived alone on the border of Arizona and Mexico, Phoenix, Flagstaff, Denver and Littleton, Colorado, and many towns in Indiana. I did alone well. I used to go to bars and concerts alone, restaurants and museums. I used to roll my wheelchair up mountains to take pictures, sail and rock climb to get high.
High is my current state of being, struggling to get by, OCD with animals constantly shedding, pain aching, pricking, and stabbing day in day out.
I don’t yell or shout, I never fight (despite the nitpicking comments thrown at me, blaming me for everything that goes wrong).
Silently (except in my head), I just keep cleaning up, dying to feel young, supple again, not an old wrinkly wench.
Dreams save my life, as a distraction from all my strife.
Your words
that voice
warmed
frigid fingers
to flicker light
in the dark
alone
to write:
Your face
that smile
pops up
head pulsing
stimulation
tickle-pricking
pure pleasure
to shout out
a showering
EXALTATION!
For a moment,
I FEEL POWER!
Oh, what a lovely distraction,
What a moment of reflection!
Stimulation, good vibrations;
Movement towards motivation.
I dance upon my consternation!
I’ll reach for the constellations,
Burning time with bright stars
Loving the ride will get me far.
In a labyrinth, with waves of silent echoes calling me through, palpable like rose petals wafting the nose to sneeze in spring,
I’m foggy, feeling my scorched earth, cracked in lines like wrinkles in the turf, reaching for your hand to save my being…
Melancholy, my mood follows me mad, knowing you’re gone. That is THAT!!!
Cramped between
nausea and hunger
my heart a stone
that can’t beat
when You
as sustenance
don’t come
to feed me,
when alone
You leave me.
The ache…
🩺
ECHOS!!!
Relieve me.
Hopelessly Inappropriate Thoughts 