midlife crisis

In the End

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Every ending is a disguised beginning. Might be trite, yet where would I be without the truism?

Transcendence is the meaning of life, thereby giving purpose to my strife, right?

But, it sucks in the dark, feeling stuck, searching for a life-line thrown from above to pull me out of the grave my brain has dug, waiting to warm my lips with a true-light’s kiss, hoping my heart will catch beat again in this life by something…

A line!!! I found it! This morning my brain yelled, and yet stayed paralyzed still.

Birds start bouncing upon my window, teasing me to get out, tapping a message, “You can do it, you’re not all alone! You carry friends to sing with you in your car. The season’s changing, sun’s a-peeking, treebuds blooming, this is what you are seeking. Join us and you’ll see that sometimes the world can be sweet.”

I start my engine igniting IN THE END…

Thank You ALO Friends!

a wish away

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I can’t connect, social media not my friend, makes me feel like a stalker when looking at someone I’m interested in, as if that person wants me dreaming intimacy, the kind I’m lacking.

“Boundaries!” My brain screams.

I find myself OVER thinking, “He would never be thinking about you, your a wish away from crazy!”

I want to be a gypsy, like never before in my life, or maybe a nomad…

No, a hippie following my favorite band, seeing new faces and places, dancing and feeling good across the land, forgetting a war’s at hand.

One MAD Rut

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I’m mad, not sad…NO, MAD. No one gives a fuck, especially not my hub. I can’t imagine how to fix us this broken when changing is an impossibility for us both. So stuck in a rut years long, and the longer marriage drags us along, the less I’m interested in touching or being touched at all…at least by the man that makes me feel like shit all the time. I’m literally losing my mind, wondering why my desire to feel doesn’t reach across the bed with appeal, but instead I get MAD!!!

Want to help me do something bad???

(To You: It’s that time of year again, when I have little good to say because all I want to do is run away. Next week, let’s breathe in each other’s ear…Ahhh yesss, that would tingle me some cheer😉