Two Birds

Sitting on your wall, I call. Music bopping, tail feathers hopping, beaks bobbing. Alone, stimulated and invigorated, eyes glowing in the blue aura you left in my mind, I search for you in the sky, a friend flying by, willing to stop for a dancing flutter or a joke, or maybe a quick poke…

Sunday Vibe

This is a true story now:

My last concert this year was G Love, who I adore. Instead of a necklace for my 50th bday, I chose to get VIP passes for his Meet-n-Greet in Michigan. Instead of chilling with me when we got to the hotel, my other went Frisbee golfing. Moods were good. Then, the wait…we were us that night. Me leaving him to go take weird pictures as he never looked up from his phone, great pre-show where I asked too many questions, then he was pretty much done. I left, went in my van,  and listened to “Sweet Spot” took my hits, and went back smiling. By mid-show he went outside and I stayed by myself until after I told G Love thanks and good-bye. I happened to choose the spot right by where his wife and family were, and it was so touching to see how a husband and wife should treat each other.

I’m thankful that I had you to help me through feeling so happy and so sad.

There I am, One…
Until you come.
What do you see?

Phallic shapes are everywhere, lol;)

Bars

A heart walled in by bars staked down to my gut and piercing me when I talk…that’s what my pain has done with time. A full-time job to upkeep, but only sleep solicits a sense of lovely peace from a brain that hates, a load of loathe that I can’t escape.

I want to be different. I want to embrace glowing! I swallow hard that feeling.

I’m always trying to find a way out…out of my brain, out of my house, out of my marriage, out…out…out DAMN spot! Out past demons that retain too much control! I rule my life!

Humble

And I dream LOVE!

So Much Love

Hoping you don’t feel as lost as I do.

Wishing you all love in your world!

truth bites hard

Pure truth, that’s what I give now, the painful kind, the kind that rules my mind, telling me I’m full of shit to think this is going to get better, it’s over.

I want more than that in this life.

In theory if someone is there, you are not alone. Technically, I have a pair, yet merely an occasional sharing of ideas, of air.

I need more than that in this life.

I don’t come in anger, but desperation, searching for a way to maintain my daily motivation, knowing I stopped feeling anything.

I want what’s not mine, the dream.

However, I fear my favorite distraction, my secret dream needs not my thoughts in his world, full enough without some stupid fucking fan-girl.

Then, I imagine blues as clear as sky and fly high.

wandering wonder

I’m aware. These days when you don’t know someone, connection is doubtful. Hope feels more like a bejeweled threat of disappointment.

The new moon’s face

a mask of clouds.

Two days of staying away from home and routine, well, I kinda crazy-crave taking in your light…to hear you speak again, that’s what gets me warm and bright tonight.

I can’t miss you (I’m sure you’d say). I disagree. You are a lullaby that heals me while I sleep, my sweet.

I wonder if I wander, putting me by your side, would you pet my mind?

a show

Waiting in the hotel by myself before G Love. Thinking about seeing you again. It’s a dream dawning naked in the sunrise and my love as I close my eyes at night, inspiration that gets me through the bad times and the stars time making everything alright.

Help

Thank you for bringing me out of my shell and helping me to want to love life again.

(When he played this as my request at the meet-n-greet before the show, my chest sighed tears in my eyes, so touched I was in that moment while thinking of you:)

inspiration for more

Instead of a jaw clench, I twist and bite my bottom lip. No more downturned scowl! I have a cheesy, pink-cheeked grin now. Lungs suffocating to finally breathing even when life’s challenging, that’s what you’ve given to me.

What you may not know is that I have a light behind my lids where you walk in the door, and you look into my eyes when I touch your skin…a moment that strengths my soul, inspiration for more.

I don’t know what we’re doing, I don’t know if it actually means anything to you, but you make my eyes smile so tight with pleasure that the corners become wet.

I wish I could tell you tonight that I dream of running my hand over your skin, learning you as you feel my hand move, a game in which we both win…

Oh my fantasy, that’s what you do to me. I want someone I can’t have, but who drives me crazy.

Imagine

My subconscious created a scene, unbeknownst to me, and delivered it in the form of a dream:

In a large room filled with people at tables of three facing a chair in the center of a raised stage (I sware the room was more like an old classroom).

With people mingling, volume increases to deafening, until a door opens with a whip-snap, closing mouths, silence resounds when you walk in and over to me, tears streaming down my face I’m so happy to have you in my space.

You lean to kiss my cheek, but despite the world watching, I take my opportunity and pull your lips to mine, yet with a gengle nudge, you separate just a touch from the tip of my nose, and slowly you watch my eyes beg…

Then, unabashedly you explore my full-pout lip with your thumb and your tongue, until our tongues gain a rhythmic tempo of sips, slips, and slides, and I feel the power of your passion entering me as a lightbeam  that then lifts us upward upon a cloud, our bodies lying down, and you see the flaws, the scars, and you keep kissing me deeply, while I moan, squeezing you to me as if I’ll never let go.

pervading ponderance

I’ve had a pervading ponderance if ever I’ll see you again. I always assume the obvious answer in my world…no…but I’m realizing a defiant bug bit my ass with your help, for you give me a secret strength.

Maybe my future can look bright and beautiful…

I look in your eyes, your hands in mine, you lay your temple to my temple.

Love, this truly is my sweet spot, when I go to sleep with you in me, with you my dream.

April (…continued)

The giant day gecko, exuding a firey aura of colors, stood perched on a rock beside April, who lifted herself out from the pond of passion back onto the solid ground, when he began gesticulating with a shuffle dance, singing, “Yes…yes…the time has come. Yes! The time is now. Climb! CLIMB! Climb to the other side, you have a key to find, you’ll see, you’ll see, follow me!”

Curiosity of a cat,  April looked up, eyes glowing in the thicket shadows, “Oh, an adventure! I’m ready for anything!” Listless, unsatisfied and so very bored just wasting time, why not search for something sublime?

“Yes, yes, up, up we must go, up and over to the other side of the wall. Help me, please, help me find the golden key!” Bowing with cane and top-hat excitedly flailing circles, infusing April with a giddy energy.

“Why of course, I will, certainly!” And at that, April laced her fingers high into the vines that protruded in layers out from the brick wall, with no fear of some snake bite, no! Instead, she began pushing the soles of her feet to propell her rise from ground to sky.

Darkness loomed from above, punctuated by a far off thunderous BOOM as April’s eyes creeped with a pop up over the top, whether naught or some sinister plot, she knew not…Regardless, she climbed over straddling its width, then tossing herself to fall off for a loooong drooooppp.

There was no wonder to April. She closed her eyes and chuckled as if tickled by a cat nuzzling her neck, arms in an ‘X’ on her chest, hugging herself the whole way down, laughing loud, enjoying the journey of creative momentum in the dark falling in wait of a lantern to illuminate her fate.

caught

I keep getting caught feelin’ all smiling…hot.

I’m ADHD, so I constantly move, doing this or organizing that, unless lost in a reverie, seeing in my mind somewhere, someone beautiful to me. Recently, I find you riding me in moments where others ask, “What are you thinking about?”

I keep coming up with a quick fix, yet it’s surprising when, outta the blue, I have these momentary lapses of reason, in which I’m so happy…my face is sore wanting MORE! Boy, you nailed my sweet spot.

And though busy nights and days keep me from being able to find your face, images so very tantalizing I’m giddy waiting to go again, I love to do it again and again and again in my head with a lucidity that gets me caught;)

Door to Your Heart

I won a music league round with this song.