Sun rains warmth upon my face, my neck wrapped by fingers’ grip, nails slightly digging in, for so bleak behind eyelids feigning sleep, disjointed thoughts whip me with an epiphany:

I’m a monster selfish enough to need someone to play with me…

Someone who wants to spend free time doing the same thing; Someone who pulls me out instead of boxes me in; Someone who wants to kiss me and I want to kiss him; Someone who wants a nap and a quickie often.

You’d think when you live with someone for two decades those things would be easy.

But, no matter how much time we have on our hands, I’m alone, trying to write myself a perfect man…

Kinda sad.