Rigid patterns
Frigid heart
(Shuts out sparks,
Nothing stays)
Rainbow bright
–Out damn night–
Dreams fill days
More, I crave
Mourning up
I splat down
Long fingers
Linger latent
Extend strength
Aide my angst
Defend my fate
A wise prophet
A proffering
I inhale deep
In you seep…
You saving me
(A soul so cold
died long ago,
Back to life
Every night)
I see G Love in Kalamazoo, MI in August. (Got to meet him a 4th of July like 10 years ago, so sweet, have a blurry picture, lol). Wish you were there.
In a battle with my SELF. There’s no blue, no gray: BLACK and white only. Both just as necessary, both needing control;
Trying to figure shit out, both pissing me off! Darkness absorbing light, white fights a push back. Both churning growth.
In a battle with my SELF. I will fight to be red, different than in my head, understanding my misunderstood.
sweet as candy,
as addictive
as lips part crack…
The layers of depth,
the hints of wandering,
the offering of perspective,
a journey of enlightenment
from beginning to end,
a glittering reflection
of intuitive introspection
this is what you showed me:
The open road of possibility,
the hills of the adventure,
golden fields, a canopy tree
the ocean waving the breeze,
even a pole calling me to speak
images of the beauty
I can’t see in my world,
I can’t find in me,
you expose me to a warmth
that tints my cheeks as fuchsia
as your flamingo shirt,
with my brain’s heat
pervading by body,
affixed I watch a star bursting
energy in front of me…
those open sky eyes,
the soft, gentle smile…
a moment I treasure,
filled with joy and laughter,
unlike any my brain
could possibly conceive
made my love light
again begin to glow brightly.
Inspiration to find my road to passion.
To refrain
To restrain
To reframe
URGES come
bouncing balls
FIREY thoughts
needs & wants
To refrain
To restrain
To reframe
Playing PAUSE
Color calls
tempting Eros
red & HOT
Hopelessness Refrained
Impulsivity Restrained
Satisfaction Reframed.
Can this change my plot?
At least it assuaged my heart;)
Which are you fight or flight? Sometimes, like tonight, when I need to fly away, I’m kinda glad my legs don’t work, I don’t run, no, I go to bed. Hopelessly Inappropriate my proclivity persists, and I escape with you for a bit.
Colorado had tons opportunity for me to participate in adaptive sports while I lived in Littleton. I rock climbed mountains, I hand-cycled hills and valleys, kayaked ponds, and sailed a sailboat. I wrote this poem as I learned to sail around 2016 (the last time I tried to run away, in love with the dream that love should include passion, dying to make a connection).
Re-Wind Me, My Captain
Flying your vessel
With a siren’s wail,
I am the only way
To steer my course,
For you, my Captain
Leapt for the sea
Leeward without me.
I know nothing, alone
In the no-go zone…
But re-wind me
With a bellow, Captain,
I’ll come back to you
About the next puff,
For with you I’d sail
Every sunset of time
Even in waters rough.
In music league the challenge this round was to find a song about getting away by some mode of transportation (planes, trains, automobiles or other ways to get out of Dodge;) This is what I went with, a I mean it, lol!!!
Thanks for listening! Wishing you hopeful thoughts:)
A joyful tear drops on my breast whilst watching the face in the mirror beat drums upon a colorful chest, reflecting what I want to be thinking, if only I could. Here, at the end of my finger tips, when there’s a mess going on in the world and at home, and I want to abscond, when I need grace, compassion, and strength, I’m so thankful to have a place to escape where I wear genuine smile for a change.
II
III
In the placenta-like sac of my soul a Wookiee pounds to break out.
Two fierce fists grip the walls, yanking open and tearing through.
The Wookiee be my soul re-born inspired, complete, thankful, free!
Cracked glass clouded by steam,
the reflection skewed reality,
my face distorted, monstrous!
That’s why I cover mirrors.
Sometimes, someone sees me,
wheels making me too obvious,
and I ponder what they think…
“You’re so strong!” One exclaimed.
Muscles atrophied to skin ‘n’ bone
long ago, weakness whittled
from could to should to won’t
with my soul my gut’s blackhole
sucking up good, bad ‘n’ all…
It’s not the wrinkles or dark spots
aging looks back and takes stock:
Who were you? Who’ve you become?
Does your soul just need a hug?
LEARN TO GIVE YOURSELF LOVE ❤️
I am chronic
PAIN painted as pleasure
(inhaling moon rocks,
to clear the chronic smoke).
I dance defiance
INSIRATION my salvation
(eating my paralysis)
in search of chronic peace.
It’s that ‘P‘ word that eludes me lately.
I search each day for that ‘P‘ in my memory, dressed as the lovely lit up ghost of a childhood friend, who began teasing me when I was ten, always up to have some fun, and Oh, how hot I got when that ‘P‘ came around!
It’s that ‘P‘ that proved to be my rock when nothing else helped, and I’ve hidden that ‘P‘ deep within me, a fire always burning up my shadows, stroking gently my ego, no matterhowlow I go.
Then, one day I tried to coerce that ‘P‘ to come, Please…I plead, Come home. Weeks of searching, but NOTHING CAME! That ‘P‘ was gone…I knew…
I really was alone.
I wondered: Did my big-bad, sad soul swallow that BEAUTIFUL ‘P’ whole to suck on its marrow until it’s gone…as if it was never known???
Fuck NO!
I don’t reside in a metaphor anymore!
That ‘P‘ was never anything but what I want it to be. And, no matter what I do it’s ALWAYS inside me. It’s my PASSION I’m hiding deep, my passion exuding me, it’s passion I want dancing a burning fire up my ass, not the memory of things done gone in the past.
Now, how to TAP THAT PASSION and make it laaast???
Rebirth:
a bird burned
to scorched earth.
Feathers old
Replaced.
Time flies
a new face
Reframed.
A peacock plumes
eyes watch sky
bright blue anew.
Rejuvenation
I Re-Claim.
A Re-Try
Remains…
Hopelessly Inappropriate Thoughts 