I try to recreate the moment when time stopped. The action just after fizzles on the tip of my tongue, an embarrassment I’ve failed to overcome. Therefore, I’m compelled to close my eyes in bed to fully concentrate, maybe try again…

Impulsively, I yell out his name, the door closing fast in my face, but I laugh with grace, beginning to grab my things.

With the door’s bang-echo bouncing on my brain, to my surprise, he comes back in. Towering above me, he bends down, holding my hand and allowing me to pass  words that now, thinking back, I don’t even know, and then, time froze…

I didn’t…I couldn’t speak.

His kind eyes, exuding empathy, stare at me, smiling the words, I see you, I feel you see me.

Heart begins love-cramping, my hand grips my chest, wanting to ask a million questions, unable to think fast.

With inappropriate babble stuck in my throat and feeling hot down below, my brain battles my hands for control with temptation wanting…

His hug…to feel loved…to feel passion…to feel something magical happen.

I jerk my head down from the warmth in his gaze, bowing it low, I giggle like a child, rolling backwards away, “I’m sorry…Thank you. I’m sorry, thank you!”

Then, turning my chair with a quick spin, I literally rolled into a wall, nearly hitting a garbage can!!!

Oh my golly gee, so very typical for me.

I can’t change my personality, I guess my quirkiness makes me…ME.

If I could do it again, I would inquire:

What are your biggest inspirations? What gives you motivation?

Watching and listening would soothe my soul, but knowing me I’d just want more. Oh, the stories I bet he’d tell!

I KNOW WHAT I should’ve asked him at least once when meeting him!!!

“Will you be my friend?”

I’m positive he’d say an emphatic “YES!”

Funny, I just keep saying to myself (to shut up desire):

Reality! Not a dream, Reality!